Tuesday, August 4, 2009

100 Questions: Update


Come on party people - throw your hands in the air! Sorry, I had a moment. Uh, let's see - today is Tuesday and I'm going to keep doing Tuesday updates on our 100 Questions for Christians till we hit that number. (And maybe beyond - we'll see if I'm bored then.)

Neece at Heaving Dead Cats has been having her minions (or "readers" if you're all super sensitive about it) comment to add questions to this list also. As Angie the Anti-Theist I reserve the right to decide which questions *I* like the best, and add them to the list. So be creative, inventive, and come up with something new! Here's the list we have so far:
  1. If homosexuality is a sin, are gay dolphins sinning?
  2. Will there be jello molds with marshmallows in them in heaven? Explain.
  3. Which is a bigger sin, passing out drunk and naked to be either seen by and/or sexed by your kids OR walking in on your dad while he's passed out drunk and naked, and see the twigs and berries?
  4. What Would Jesus Do?
  5. If god is better than we are, how come we can think up unicorns but he can’t make them?
  6. Same with mermaids.
  7. Did Jesus have acne as a teenager? Please explain.
  8. Why is the Brick Testament the best version of the bible?
  9. Why is christian music so painfully square?
  10. Is it better to be right or popular?
  11. Should god be put on trial for crimes against humanity?
  12. What are some contradictions in the Bible? Please list no fewer than 3. (or was it 5?)


  13. Why waste Jesus' meager 3 miracle years on earth with petty tricks like turning water to wine and cursing a fig tree?
  14. Why didn't Jesus write any of his own material?
  15. What does God have against pillows?
  16. Why is god dependent on human translation efforts to spread his message?
  17. Will we have sex in heaven?

  18. Will we masturbate in heaven?
  19. Will we have competitive eating contests in heaven?
  20. How many people do you personally know that you think god is sending to hell?
  21. Doesn't that just suck?
  22. Will we learn new things, write new stories, sing new songs in heaven?
  23. How the heck do you know what heaven's gonna be like? You've never been there!
  24. Do teenage Jesus wake up with a boner every morning? (Sent in from a Christian reader - thanks!)
  25. Why do you think we have rainbows? (Please say Noah, please say Noah)
  26. Are you pracitcing another religion - going a-whoring - if you do yoga? Meditate? Decorate with feng shui?
  27. Have you ever talked back to your parents, or have your kids ever talked back to you? Then this next point might upset you...

That's all I have so far, which means I need you to keep submitting the funny. Solicit the help of your friends and coworkers (unless you work as a church secretary - then it's probably a good idea to keep this site cleared from your browser history). Send everyone on over to Stump the Fundy with 100 questions for Christians.