Thursday, August 13, 2009

Questions for Christians

I'm a slacker and didn't do a Tuesday Update on 100 Questions. So sue me.

The questions we've gathered so far....
  1. If homosexuality is a sin, are gay dolphins sinning?
  2. Will there be jello molds with marshmallows in them in heaven? Explain.
  3. Which is a bigger sin, passing out drunk and naked to be either seen by and/or sexed by your kids OR walking in on your dad while he's passed out drunk and naked, and see the twigs and berries?
  4. What Would Jesus Do?
  5. If god is better than we are, how come we can think up unicorns but he can’t make them?
  6. Same with mermaids.
  7. Did Jesus have acne as a teenager? Please explain.
  8. Why is the Brick Testament the best version of the bible?
  9. Why is christian music so painfully square?
  10. Is it better to be right or popular?
  11. Should god be put on trial for crimes against humanity?
  12. What are some contradictions in the Bible? Please list no fewer than 3. (or was it 5?)
  13. Why waste Jesus' meager 3 miracle years on earth with petty tricks like turning water to wine and cursing a fig tree?
  14. Why didn't Jesus write any of his own material?
  15. What does God have against pillows?
  16. Why is god dependent on human translation efforts to spread his message?
  17. Will we have sex in heaven?
  18. Will we masturbate in heaven?
  19. Will we have competitive eating contests in heaven?
  20. How many people do you personally know that you think god is sending to hell?
  21. Doesn't that just suck?
  22. Will we learn new things, write new stories, sing new songs in heaven?
  23. How the heck do you know what heaven's gonna be like? You've never been there!
  24. Do teenage Jesus wake up with a boner every morning? (Sent in from a Christian reader - thanks!)
  25. Why do you think we have rainbows? (Please say Noah, please say Noah)
  26. Are you pracitcing another religion - going a-whoring - if you do yoga? Meditate? Decorate with feng shui?
  27. Have you ever talked back to your parents, or have your kids ever talked back to you? You know what the Bible says about that. (Start vid at 4:04)
  28. If Jesus saved us from sins, shouldn't we sin so his act doesn't go to waste?
  29. What if Satan's the good one and you're worshiping the wrong guy, because the Bible led you astray?

  30. What is Satan's motive to hurt or harm people, when doing that will only make his opponent more desirable in the Battle For Souls?
  31. Will you see/hear/think of your friends roasting in hell while you're in heaven? If not, why not? If so, how could you possibly enjoy heaven knowing loved ones are being tortured FOREVER?
  32. Are you familiar with the term "confirmation bias"?

  33. If Jesus said you could move a mountain with faith as small as a mustard seed, why do faith healers wear glasses?
  34. If Christians can move mountains with their faith, why have mountain top removal and dynamite?
  35. Why does the Bible have to be interpreted literally to have value?
  36. How do you know St. Paul was really inspired by God and not just crazy? What if he turned god's own plan for salvation into something completely different? Could that explain god's apparent personality change between the Old and New Testaments?
  37. If god supposedly loves humans why has he killed so many people?

  38. For Catholics/Methodists/Episcopals: Instead of doing a tiny amount every Sunday over and over, why can't all the priests get together and bless all the water in the oceans into Holy Water once and for all?
  39. How do you know if a voice in your head is God, Satan, or your own thoughts?
  40. Would you obey God no matter what he asked you to do?

Keep 'em coming. Please promote this effort among atheist-friendly friends and family. I'd love to have a variety of voices (although I greatly appreciate those who sent in multiple questions). I'll try to stay more on top of things and post more frequently in the coming weeks. Little Man goes back to school on the 25th so I should definitely be more reliable to the Internet then :)