Friday, July 31, 2009

Questions for Christians

Readers, stalkers, and random passers-by - lend me your ears! Or rather, your fingers. And brains (but not in a zombie way). Sorry, I've had sugar.

I want to get together a massive set of, say, 100 Questions for Christians. Make them creative, hypothetical, unique. Stay away from anything so done-to-death that any theist can just Google an apologist rebuttal. (The fact that there is Conservapedia: The "Trustworthy" Encyclopedia? Chills me to the bones.) Let's have new debates.

So, here's what I need from you:

  • Give me creative stump-the-fundy questions
  • Suggest debate location sites (if it can be easily cached and redisplayed - in part or whole - here on ATAT, that would be best)

To get you into the spirit of things and give you a clue as to what I'm looking for, here are the first 10 of the 100 Questions for Christians we're going to amass. (We are gonna make this happen y'all.)

  1. If homosexuality is a sin, are two gay male dolphins sinning when they do this?

  2. Will there be jello molds with marshmallows in them in heaven? Explain. If they do this, you should have your rebuttal - for each side of the argument! - already prepared.

  3. Which is a bigger sin: Walking in on your dad - drunk, naked, and passed out? or Passing out drunk and naked, and leaving your kids to pick up after your drunk butt? (Now tell them about the Curse of Ham! Note: Both Noah and Lot were the "best" and "holiest" men in their communities; both got dead drunk and were naked in front of (or had sex with) their kids. Great role models, eh?)

  4. What Would Jesus Do? (Watch this video - you'll be glad you did. Trust me.)

  5. If God is better than we are, how come we can think up unicorns, but he didn't make them?

  6. Same thing, but with mermaids. (I was surprised how many hits - 947,000 - come up for "mermaids are real".)

  7. Did Jesus have acne as a teenager? Explain.

  8. Why is the Brick Testament the best version of the Bible? (Note: You are playing a sublte verbal trick here, by asking them to only explain why it's the best version - which it totally is - and not first having them agree on that point. Theists do this constantly, so it's always nice to get them back!)

  9. Why is Christian music so painfully square? (I used to *listen* to this!)

  10. Is it better to be right or to popular? (I throw this one in because Christian teens especially are repeatedly told they are being persecuted, that it's hard to be Christian in this "secular world", etc. Get them to agree being popular is less important, and then present them with the facts about Christian persecution with this handy pie chart!)

It's almost embarrassing how often I laugh at MYSELF while blogging. I think I'm the funniest person ever when I'm snarking on the internets! Also ya'll, when I say *facepalm* 9 times out of 10 I did just literally smack myself in the forehead before typing it. If I claim to have shot Coke Zero out of my nose? Then my monitor is dirty.

Okay, well I'm hoping audience participation will be high for this one. I may have to post remainder/ updates to keep this on my front page. Remember folks, question early and often!


  1. Should god be put on trial for crimes against humanity?

  2. My recent retort to Christians who claim to have "examined their faith and religion"... Is to ask them to list 5 flaws of Christianity, 5 contradictions in the Bible, and 5 similarities between Christianity and another religion other-than Judaism or Islam.

    Not sure if this works for your question list, but thought I'd throw it out there.

  3. PS: Your comments box seems really restrictive; it won't let me copy/paste, and prevents FireFox from spell-checking. Is that intentional?

  4. Why did Jesus only perform either simple miracles only based on anecdotal evidence or self indulgent miracles? Why didn't he cure all blindness for humanity? Why didn't he make it so that all children under age 5 didn't die or something? Cursing a fig tree, turning water into wine at a wedding and walking on water are pretty lame "tricks" that benefited no one. Shouldn't the son of god have been more "godly"? Shouldn't he have also been literate and written down exactly what he wanted future generations to know about him instead of relying on writers who never met him?

  5. Excellent additional questions! I think I'll do Tuesday Questions or something, and add your new suggestions to an updated list.

  6. What does God have against pillows??
    Ezekial 13:18-21

  7. Why do YOU think there are rainbows?
    (please say Noah, please say Noah!)

  8. Why is it that what religion is "true" depends on what geographical location you are, while scientific laws are true no matter where you are? (Mecca and the Vatican may have different gods, but gravity works the same in both places)

  9. What will there be to do in heaven? Some of us don't get kicks out of smelling the flowers and skipping.... Barbeque seems more fun to me...

  10. About Jesus's acne, I think he had also a boner every morning just like me.( that's why I feel closer to him). So what, he was a human with very human sentiments(Mary Magdala)and the crux of real Christianism is based on the fact that human beings have divine nature (yet not all)which Jesus came to teach.

    About music.... Humm you are damn right, that why I prefer anti-christian and religious critic Metal music, though I'm a Christian.My favorite one is "Cradle of Filth", a British band.

  11. “If homosexuality is a sin, are gay dolphins sinning when they have gay sex in a public aquarium?”

    But we’re not animals! Animals eat their own poo–do you want to do that also? And animals only have the gay sex when they don’t have a suitable Opposite Partner available or when they want to show dominance, not as some long term relationship thingie! And animals don’t know about the Word of the Lord whereas we do, so we have to adhere to a Higher Standard.

    This message has been brought to you by fundagelical apologists of the world.