Courtship Promises pt. 1

Well, today I'm going to talk about something my mom only jokingly threatened me with, but that many Christian teenagers are forced into: Courtship. I'll be using writings by Bill Gothard. Before anyone gets upset that this isn't *their* version of Christianity & therefore I'm unfairly judging all Christians, here is my brand spanking new Angie the Anti-Theist General Christian Disclaimer.

There is no universal consensus among Christians on the life and teachings of Jesus, the primary message of the Gospel, the role of Old Testament laws in today's society, or the proper way to live a "Christian life." Therefore, I will address the multitudes of differing beliefs within Christianity. If you feel that your particular ideology, sect, denomination, or version of Christianity has been unfairly excluded, please let me know and I'll be sure to cover why I don't share your beliefs either.

Are we good now?

What is Courtship?
Courtship is experiencing the blessing of God by loving the Lord Jesus Christ and honoring both sets of parents. The purpose of courtship is to determine a couple’s readiness for marriage and to discern the will of God for a covenant marriage that will benefit the world.

While the actual manifestation of a courtship relationship will vary because no two couples are alike, one of the primary motivations behind courtship (as opposed to dating) is the protection of the emotions of those involved until the time when it is clearly God’s will to proceed into marriage.

Okay, I've got a problem from the opening clause, "Courtship is experiencing." That is an active verb. It's an action - "experiencing." But that's really a broad verb, when you think about it. I mean, we have sensory experiences and means of experiencing the world around us. We don't seem to have any measurable way of "experiencing" blessing, however. What exactly does "experiencing the blessing of God" mean in practical, measurable terms? My brother the physicist (oh yay! the only other atheist) has this quote as his email tagline -

"When you can measure what you are speaking about, and express it in numbers, you know something about it; but when you cannot measure it, when you cannot express it in numbers, your knowledge is of a meagre and unsatisfactory kind."
- Lord Kelvin

You can see why he's the other atheist, can't you? Okay, so courtship is something that frankly hasn't really been defined. We know it's about "honoring both sets of parents" though...

I have to ask, how are emotions protected by going through your parents? If one person doesn't want to move forward, there's still gonna be rejection. Besides, minimizing the risk of dating also minimizes some of the rewards. I learned a LOT about myself over the years, and some of that I learned from men and women I dated. I'm still in friendly contact with ex-boyfriends from as far back as seventh grade. (Hi, Micah!) Even though there's pain and loss in dating, I don't think that's a reason to completely forgo the exercise. Alright, let's get into the meat of this.

Foundational Principles of Courtship

I'm intrigued already. Foundational principles of "experiencing God's blessing"? I can hardly wait.

1. Ensure the blessing of God

The greatest asset of any person or marriage is God’s blessing. “The blessing of the LORD, it maketh rich, and he addeth no sorrow with it” (Proverbs 10:22).

Since the Bible isn't nearly as pro-marriage as most contemporary Christians (I was gonna type modern, but then realized that might not be the best description for some of these people), I'm going to look up that verse in context. This is a passage about wisdom, like many of the proverbs are. It is not about marriage, marital love, male-female love, or procreation or children. There are early verses in the passage comparing a wise and foolish son, bringing joy and shame to parents, but they're a good ten verses before the one Bill Gothard quoted. Here's a little context for you,

20The tongue of the just is as choice silver: the heart of the wicked is little worth.
21The lips of the righteous feed many: but fools die for want of wisdom.
22The blessing of the LORD, it maketh rich, and he addeth no sorrow with it.
23It is as sport to a fool to do mischief: but a man of understanding hath wisdom.
24The fear of the wicked, it shall come upon him: but the desire of the righteous shall be granted.

That's just not about marriage. Nice try, Bill. But let's see how Bill thinks a couple can "ensure" the Lord's blessing for their marriage.

No couple will have a happy or prosperous marriage without the blessing of the Lord. If God does not bless them, the devourer will damage and destroy their present and future joy and potential.

Wow, I guess we can blame "the devourer" for all those failed Christian marriages. Or maybe we're supposed to blame the Lord for not blessing their marriages, and allowing the devourer to wreak so much havoc? Oh wait, silly me. This is Christianity! People are to blame for everything bad, and God gets credit for everything good. It's simple, really. Okay, so no getting married until you have God's blessing. Of course, that hasn't been defined yet and we're still not sure how to "ensure" you get it.

A blessed marriage is described in the following passage: “Blessed is every one that feareth the LORD; that walketh in his ways. For thou shalt eat the labour of thine hands: happy shalt thou be, and it shall be well with thee. Thy wife shall be as a fruitful vine by the sides of thine house: thy children like olive plants round about thy table” (Psalm 128).

I don't want to be a vine - fruitful or otherwise! I don't want to live in another man's house. I want to live in my house. And I don't know about the rest of you, but I don't see my son as an olive plant or any other possession.

It sounds like a man gets blessed by fearing the Lord and walking in his ways. Again, dating isn't mentioned. There is no verse saying, "Thou shalt not watch a movie with a member of the opposite sex without appropriate Christian chaperones" but that's the message I got as a Christian teen. From youth group to Brio to that stupid hated "Worth Waiting For" necklace of my sister's, the idea that dating was somehow wrong was clearly communicated. Somehow it's "unChristian" or "worldly" to date, but really, this isn't territory that's covered in the Bible.

In the Old Testament, if you liked a girl you just bought her from her dad, or raped her first and then bought her. In the New Testament, well, Jesus never married and neither did Paul, Paul was pretty adamantly against marriage. I'll get into that more later, but for now let me just say, the Bible isn't particularly pro-marriage. The gross assumption on the part of many conservative Christians that marriage is somehow "sacred" or "holy" in God's eyes simply isn't supported by the text (which is why good old Bill here will use verses completley out of context.)

Now let's address this assertion that "No couple will have a happy or prosperous marriage" unless they did it Bill Gothard's way. Divorce statistics for Christians and non-Christians in the US are fairly stable. Born-again Christians and Baptists get divorced at the highest rate (according to an Associated Press survey) and atheists at the lowest rate. Conservative states like Oklahoma and Alabama have a 50% higher incidence of divorce than liberal states like Maine and Washington. Apparently, the Bill Gothard style of marriage fails more often. Now, if you think that at least some of these Christian marriages that succeed are doing so because of the Lord's blessing, how do you account for the successful non-Christian marriages? Surely Bill doesn't think the Lord has bestowed his blessing on heathens. Clearly, there are happy (or at least in tact) marriages among non-Christians. The "destroyer" has not had his merry way with them. How does Bill account for this, I wonder?

We'll just have to wait until tomorrow to find out. Part 2 coming soon, Anteaters. I may as well let you in on my decreased posting. I've been having really awful and frequent periods, and they're taking a toll on me. I've had four since I moved to Denver two months ago. I've basically been half-zombie, but I talked with a midwife friend who told me what I can do and take to feel better, so I hope to be more alert and active soon. Till then, be well and have great and godless days.

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June 28, 1998

I swayed to the music, my hands raised skyward, singing and crying out to God, with tears streaming down my face. Hallelujah, hallelujah. Oh, I needed to turn back to him. My chest ached and I felt the weight of my betrayal.

I was doing things a good Christian girl shouldn't. I was skipping school, smoking pot and cigarettes, and worst of all, flirting with witchcraft. But not right here in this moment, in a wood frame room with hundreds of other convicted and crying teens at a Vineyard Christian Fellowship teen Bible camp in Georgia. Here, it was just me and Jesus - a time to get right with God.

At the far end of the open room, the band played and sang out prayers into the warm June night, as fireflies lit up past the four corners or the open-walled building frame. I could feel the Holy Spirit moving through the crowd, and I was overcome with emotion. Outside, rain began to pour.

"Oh, please Jesus, forgive me," I begged. "You are holy, holy, holy," I said aloud. It didn't seem strange at all to speak out loud to God; everyone around me was doing the same.

I focused on all the ways I wasn't pleasing God. My mind ran over a litany of my sins and transgressions, and I felt polluted by my sinful nature. I considered my recent interest in the occult. I believed witchcraft was real, even if most people who dabbled in it were total amateurs. That didn't mean Satan couldn't use the occasion, that open door, to infest them with demons. Yet, I sometimes read my horoscope, which I knew was wrong.

I looked down at my left hand. On my middle finger I wore a wrong that I thought God might not like. It was a silver band with a raised moon and stars, and a clear blue lacquer slapped over the top. It came from Claire's and probably sold for about $8. I can't remember if I bought it or stole it. I did quite a bit of that at 15.

I confessed my treachery to Jesus, sobbing anew. I found myself face down on the pine floor, prostrate before my God and my youth group. Compelled, I rose up and walked to one side of the open air room, toward the benches that lined the edges between the thick wood beams keeping up the roof. Leaning out into the wind and the rain, I chucked the ring with all my might, and as it arced into the air, a stroke of lightning lit the sky. He forgave me.

Over the course of that opening night worship service, kicking off a week's long Christian summer camp program, I tried desperately to get back to the comfortable feeling of closeness with Jesus I'd once known. Kids from my youth group, and from a group in Greensboro, North Carolina laid hands on me and prayed for me. Prayed that God would be the father I'd never known, prayed that I would follow His will, prayed that he would shower me with His love and His grace.

I spent three solid hours crying on the hard wood floor that night.

I think this is the kind of experience most Christians don't realize I've had, when I say I don't believe in their god. I did believe. Every element of a "relationship" you believe you have with Jesus, I thought I had. And it's not because I really was overcome with some holy ghost. I just believed it. I believed in Jesus and in repentance and in conviction and in the Rules. I believed in the holy ghost and that God tried to talk to me through both music and the weather. I believed the things I needed to believe to create an emotional experience like the one I had "with Jesus" that summer night in Georgia. Without those beliefs though, there's really no chance of a holy spirit "moving" through any crowd. You never see Christians "slain in the spirit" at the checkout, or else overcome by the Holy Spirit in their cubicle. No. Experiences like this are almost always confined to highly stressful or highly religious situations. Because the ghost isn't real, but the memory of it is.

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Troubled Teen Programs Kill

So I've finally gotten around to putting together the latest petition (It's in the box and right here.) This is one is being sent to Senators and the POTUS. From the CHILD (the agency responsible for getting this bill through the House, and an awesome advocacy group) website

At this moment, I feel the need to let my readers know, cults aren't always religious. It's easy for us to look at the Moonies, Heaven's Gate, and the FLDS Mormons and say, "Yup, that's a cult." What I find a lot of people have difficulty with is recognizing the non-religious (or psuedo-non-religious, like Alcoholics Anonymous) cults in their midst.

Teen "rehab" boot camps, wilderness camps, and other residential facilities, are by and large cults. They follow the model, techniques, and even buzz words of Synanon (which eventually changed its name to the Church of Synanon and is listed as a cult by the reliable Apologetics Index. Oh, and they did church-wide wife swapping.)

Reason Online and Mother Jones each did stories on the teen correctional industry in 2007, following the well publicized torturing death of 14-year-old Martin Lee Anderson. Anderson was placed in a wilderness camp in Florida, following a trespassing violation. Within three hours of arriving, he had stopped breathing. He was pronounced dead by hospital staff early the following morning. He was kicked, punched, and beaten to death in an effor to "break him" of his "defiance".

Looking at this list of groups classified as cults, it's strange how many I recognize, and how the name of a group will bring up a full catalog of facts, back story, and death toll in my head. It's like seeing old enemies in your high school yearbook - you never liked them, but you share a history. Sure, I expect to

I think, in part, I study cults because I'm still llloking for the place I belong. I had that need - to be part of the group, the family - instilled so strongly as a child, but I was and still am weird, and I have gaps in my pop culture memory, and I was taught how to control sheep rather than how to love friends. I have a greater need to belong and less capabaility. So I look for other cult survivors, and I find them. From the eastern transcendental cults to the Bible based fringes of non-denominationalism to tough love teen boot camps. And once I find them, I try to help them. I try to raise awareness, raise funds, and raise outrage. Once you're pissed, you're motivated.

So sign my damn petition. Call your Senator, or hey, call mine. Let them know you object to non-evidence based treatment protocols being used in sentencing or diversionary programs (the "instead of jail" route), and that you want stricter oversight for residential facilities housing teens. Ask them to sponsor or co-sponsor HR 911, which is currently languishing in the HELP committee. Tell them you think it's wrong for teenagers to be beat to death by cult members.

Also, check out Kids of El Paso, about one particular Synanon clone and what went on there. The front page advises former program teens who are contemplating suicide to contact the national Suicide Hotline. Sometimes, when I feel like nobody else knows what it's like to grow up in a cult, I remember that I'm an idiot, and that a lot of us are struggling in secret - hidden in plain sight.

To any of my readers who are fellow survivors, hello. I'm glad you're here. I hope this blog helps and I always answer private emails. Let me know what you'd like me to add to the blog or any questions you have. We're not alone.

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Demon Busters: Part 2

Back to the snark. (Original snark can be found here!) I guess I ought to explain why I'm calling this series "Demon Busters". It's because that's what shows up in the bottom of my browser window when I'm on their site (JesustheDeliverer.com). Of course, this reminds me that when I lived with my grandmother, I wasn't allowed to see the movie "Ghost Busters" because ghosts are demons, and demons are evil; ergo, "Ghost Busters" is evil. (Never mind that the title characters fight against supernatural baddies. This is the same woman who wouldn't let us watch Care Bears.)

Anyway, onto the rest of the "FAQs". Yesterday we got through the "explanations" for why poor health, lack of prosperity, depression and "clumsiness" are all caused by demon possession. Let's see what today's cockamamie has in store for us.

• Do you ever think thoughts that you feel are not your own?
• Do you ever say or do something that you didn’t mean to, and felt like, “The devil made me do it?”

Here's the insidious part of the whole Deliverance mindset. Leaders use "the demons made me do it" to distance themselves from their own crimes and moral shortcomings (think C Street). At the same time, lay people are entirely dependent on the deliverance counselors to keep them safe from invading thoughts, depression, "clumsiness", and - as you'll see later on - UFO abduction. (Yes, really.)

Demons manipulate our mind, our will and our emotions. They plant thoughts in our mind that will make us confused, and if we believe that those thoughts are ours, we might even act upon them (i.e. women who hear voices telling them to kill their children).

Ah, there's nothing quite like demonizing women with Post-Partum Depression! After all, it got Tom Cruise some (bad) press. And while I think it is important not to believe everything we think (ie, "Those people are talking about me") this kind of advice is what led me to think I was schizophrenic as a child. I never knew whether any given thought in my head was mine, the voice of Satan or a demon tempting me, or the Lord. This kind of thinking leads to insanity.

• Do you ever feel that you’re powerless to break off a destructive relationship – like, you just can’t do it - even though you want to or need to?
• Or, if you have ended the relationship, does the memory of that person frequently haunt you?

Ah yes, because pining after an ex is clearly a spiritual, rather than emotional, matter. And the only destructive relationship I'm thinking needs to be cut off right now is anybody's association with these Demon Busters.

• Do you ever strike your children or scream at them uncontrollably – but you really love them – and wonder why you are behaving this way?

There's nothing that Satan likes better than provoking family and marriage problems. In the case of children being abused, there might be demons both in the parents and the children that play on each other to provoke the abuse situation.

The abuse "situation". Notice how the words "abuser" and "abused" are left out? It's an abuse "situation". I love how the parents have zero responsibility for the abuse, as it's just demons in both the parents and kids fighting with each other! (I was raised and beaten by a woman who thought this way. Other children don't survive.) Notice also that things like therapy, family counseling, parenting classes, anger management, and psychotropic medication for the parents is not suggested. Nope, just casting out mommy and daddy's - and Junior's! - demons. You know, to stop the "situation".

• Do you ever feel that your wife wants to control and manipulate you and put you down? Do you ever feel that your wife wants to rule the roost, and you feel out of place in the marriage?

There's nothing that Satan likes better than provoking family and marriage problems... In the case of a controlling wife, what is working in the marriage is a demon called Jezebel. If the husband doesn't mind the wife controlling and manipulating, it's because he is overcome by a spirit called Ahab (see I Kings 21:25).

Feminist outrage... Commence! I guess equality is not a Christian family virtue.

• Are you a Christian who wants to live the way God wants you to live, but can’t seem to do it? Do you feel compelled to do things you know you shouldn’t do?
• Have you ever had a good Christian friend “pray” for you, but you really haven’t seen any results?

Well in the first instance, since Christianity operates by placing people under impossible standards and then crushes people with guilt for failing to meet these standards, I'm guessing most Christians would answer "Yes" to that question. I'm not guessing that these Christians are all demon possessed though. They could just be pissed off that their natural human desires for sex and companionship are thwarted and shamed by their religion. In the second case, as I've stated before and I will again, intercessory prayer doesn't work.

• Jesus told His disciples to preach the gospel, heal the sick, raise the dead and cast out demons. It was ONE command to do the four things. When the gospel is preached, both healing and deliverance need to be ministered. A Christian that cannot live the way He knows God wants him to live needs deliverance from the demons that are compelling him to think and do wrong.

Hang on a second here, if all four of these commands are so viatlly important, why can't I find anywhere on this website where they have examples of raising the dead? Or healing amputees? Oh that's right! Because God is imaginary. (Silly me.)

• Do you suffer from nightmares? Have the popular horror movies you’ve watched had an effect on your personal peace?

Ah yes, let's not forget to blame Hollywood (it's almost as much fun as blaming Canada).

• Have you ever had weird or surreal or scary things happen in your bed or your bedroom while you’re trying to sleep?

No, but now that you've planted that fear-mongering idea in my head I just might.

Emotional traumas open the door for demons to invade. When a child watches a horror movie, he is opening himself up to receive demons of fear . Demons of fear will provoke nightmares. Furthermore, if a person gets involved in the occult, it opens doors for apparitions and for poltergeist demons to act in the household. Poltergeist demons like to move objects around, make noises and make objects appear or disappear.

Again folks, I am not making this up. This is in the FAQs page of the Demon Busters' own website. I heard the phrase "open the door" a lot. Pretty much anything that's fun (music, friends, movies, TV, books, other cultures, ideas, language, and sex, obviously) was the kind of sin that "opened a door" for a demon to attack you. (In other words, having a demon is your own fault - you left him in with that wide open door.) Also, poltergeists?

There's a whole bit about feeling lonely or rejected, visiting a medium, witch, or palmreader; and participating in (or being related to people who participated in) withccraft or voodoo. Basically, they're crazy people who blame demons for all of that. (But I wanna get to the truly insane stuff.)

• Losing your mind?
• Have you spent thousands of dollars in counseling or therapy but not ever really seen any of the behavioral changes or results you desire with your life?
• Do you feel like your life is out of control? Do you feel like you're going crazy sometimes?

Gee, seeing a therapist or psychiatrist might help you deal with those "crazy feelings", but wouldn't a bit of magic hocus-pocus be more dramatic?

Demons attack your mind and speak to your mind. You might think you're hearing voices or thinking unusual thoughts, but it is the demon speaking to you and giving you confusion. You need deliverance of these.

This is dangerous teaching. There's been religious violence perpetrated by the mentally ill more than once just this year. People who hear voices need psychiatric help, not deliverance.

• Do you ever have unreasonable fears or worries that constantly plague you?

Yes, it's called Anxiety Disorder. Fortunately, now that I'm not in a mind-control cult, I have access to medication and information so I can make better dietary and lifestyle choices, to manage my anxiety (exorcism-free). Also, being constantly on the alert for an "open doors" or signs of demonic activity in your life will encourage feelings of paranoia, fear, and anxiety. It's like living in a horror movie, with that constantly tense music playing in the background.

• Are you a woman who just can't conceive a child, no matter what you've tried to do about it?

Ah yes, fertility difficulties as curse from the blessed Jehovah. I was molested as a little girl, and overheard the doctors speculating that I might never have kids. I always felt like a second-class citizen among women because of this. (Well, until I found out I was a 22-year-old *moron* who was 4 months pregnant without realizing it. That sort of changed things for me.) But the suggestion that it is a barren woman's fault she has no children is definitely propagated by the Bible.

• Are you afraid that your infant might suddenly die from “crib death”?

Well, I wasn't until you planted that idea into my head. Notice that the tone of the whole piece (the supposed FAQs) has been one to increase fear, worry, and a sense of uncertainty. It's a big, bad scary world, and the demons are out to get you! (And the aliens, but more on them soon.)

• If you have a child, is he or she out of control and impossible to manage? Is this child making you miserable with his or her behavior problems?

Aw, can't you just feel the love? I think parents are often frustrated, angry, or even feel like they're going crazy when it comes to their kids. But saying that you child is "making you miserable"? And notice how it's not the parent's job to help their child make good decisions, and behave in a way that leads to success in life and society. No, it's the child's behavior making the parent "miserable". This tone of "kids suck" continues throughout, especially in the section "For Teens".

Children inherit demons while in the womb as a result of their ancestors’ sinful activities and need deliverance just like adults (demons may be a cause of birth defects, stillbirths, etc.). They need to have the curses broken and the demons cast out. The behavior problems of children many times are due to demonic activity in their lives.

Wow, so along with their "alive-at-conception" souls they get demons? What kind of god would set up such a crappy system?! And way to blow off all medical, empirical findings about the causes of infant death and birth complications. "Blame the demon" - like pin the tail on the donkey, where the whole poster is the donkey's ass. But now we get to my favorite section, the one I've been waiting to share with you. I must clarify that my family did NOT believe the following. But this group does, and so we should mock them (and we will).

• Have you ever seen a UFO (flyer saucer)? Have you ever seen an alien?
• Have you ever been abducted by a UFO or alien?
• Have you ever found yourself to have inexplicably lost time? Or found yourself waking up where you did not go to sleep?

Aliens! UFOs! There's a two page (looooong) paper on their site about alien abductions, and what they mean in a spiritual way.

Many people are afraid to discuss their UFO experiences with other people because of fear of rejection (people might think they’re crazy or hallucinating).

(I wonder why?)

We believe UFOs are real – they’re not UNIDENTIFIED Flying Objects – they’re IDENTIFIED Flying Objects: DEMONS! If you have had a meeting with an alien, you need deliverance. More than likely, you will need occult curses broken and the demons cast out.

I don't even have anything witty to say. This one just mocks itself all over. Still, I feel a need to "play that out" or something. I mean, that's just weird.



Okay, now that we've gotten UFOs out of our system (sheesh)... After a brief stab at "homosexuality and pornography", we get to the "For Teens" section of the "FAQs". (Somehow, I doubt any of those questions are frequently asked by visitors to the site.) For some inexplicable reason, the teen section doesn't use the bulleted list format of the rest of the page.

Have you ever dabbled in witchcraft, played with a Ouija board or Dungeons & Dragons, or experimented with anything occultic? Did it frighten you? Have you felt different ever since? Have you had nightmares or weird/surreal things happen that you feel like you can't talk to anyone about? Do you wish you hadn't touched the occult?

First off *snort* at "touched the occult". It's like, "Aaaaahh! It touched me!" And, okay - major nerd confession here - I not only played D&D in high school, I was a Dungeon Master. I also played Shadow Run, Legend of the Five Rings, and I've been to a couple LARP Vampire games. I am a geek with a corset. And I can't remember any *actual* occult activity going on. In fact, this video expresses the full extent of it perfectly. (And gives me nostalgic lulz.)


"Where's the Mountain Dew?"

Holy crap that's funny.

If your friends have lured you into getting involved in witchcraft, working spells, playing with the Ouija Board or role-playing with Dungeons and Dragons, and you feel different, then you need deliverance.

"Don't trust your friends!" Sowing the seeds of isolationism, extremism, legalism, and bat-shit-build-bombs-in-the-woods craziness. This next paragraph sets a continually dismal emotional tone. As your reading it, monitor your own feelings to see if there's a change.

Do you feel unloved? Do you feel like people reject you? Did or do your parents reject you? Do you feel unworthy? Do you hate yourself or feel suicidal sometimes? Do these thoughts make you feel sad or depressed? Do you long for a time when you can feel good about yourself and be free of those feelings of rejection?

Almost as cheery as a Cimbalta commercial, huh? (The music in those drives me nuts - I gotta turn the volume off. It's just waaaaay too minor key.) But the solution part's gotta be better, right? Right?

Feeling unloved and unworthy, looking at yourself in the mirror and thinking thoughts like, "You're ugly, you're fat, nobody loves you" -- these are thoughts demons are placing your mind. Believe me, they're not your own thoughts, because God made you perfect. You need to be delivered of demons of rejection, self-rejection, depression, despair, loneliness and suicide.

Wow, even in the "cheer up, Charlie" response the author manages to remind you that you feel unloved and unworthy, that you're ugly and fat and nobody loves you, and that you need to be delivered from demons. Almost every single word is a negative one: unloved, unworthy, ugly, fat, demon, rejection, depression, despair, loneliness. Just reading this can make you feel like crap.

Are you addicted to certain drugs or alcohol? Do you feel that the addiction is taking you down a road you'd rather not go on, or ruining your life? Would you like to kick your habit, but you can't? Would you like a second chance to make a fresh start?

If this is something that runs in the family, then it is a family curse that has to be broken back 10 generations or so, and the demons that came with the curse cast out. If you picked this up by yourself because of peer pressure or out of your own curiosity, a demon came into you that won't let you quit. This demon needs to be cast out.

Demon and deliverance beliefs combine all the free-will of Calvanistic predestiny with victim-blaming of a faith healer or psychic. ("Your skeptical vibes interfered with my aura.")

That's the end of the page. So let's see, what all was it again that's caused by demons? Well...

• cancer
• childhood death
• lack of prosperity
• depression
• emotional instability
• "clumsiness"
• bad luck
• voices in your head
• destructive relationships
• beating your kids uncontrollably (don't worry, you can blame part of it on their demons)
• that back-talking bitch wife yeh got there
• inability to live up to Biblical standards
• friends prayers not working for you
• nightmares
• paranoia
• feelings of insecurity
• addiction
• compulsions
• insanity
• constant fears
• poverty
• infertility
• SIDS
• an unruly child
• UFOs and alien freaking abductions
• homosexuality
• lust
• rejection
• loneliness
• despair
• suicide

Wow, thank goodness half-literate fear-mongering isolationists who believe in freaking UFOs have the solution!

And, gentle readers, so that this post does not leave a bad taste in your mouth, I recommend as your unicorn chaser Jesus Dress Up. The blasphemy is delightful and I'm sure you'll have as much fun as I did, putting together my Star Wars Jesus, Valentine's Day Jesus, and BDSM Jesus. (Seriously, it's good clean unholy fun.)

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