Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Take Your Pills

Know how I know I'm not the only person worrying about mental illness and funky chemicals in my body? Cause I listen to pop music, or at least I did in the 90s.

The thing is the meds are making me feel all the negative consequences of my former recreational drug use, without the, you know, recreational part of it.

It's not that I don't think I ever had a problem with drugs; it's just not how I define myself. It's not even in my Top Ten of personal demons to vanquish, lol. I feel like I dodged a bullet really. Just around the time things were really getting out of hand, I found out I was pregnant and straightened up and grew up pretty much right away. (Except for all that growing up I'm yet to do.)

Icky played this song for me when we were coming down from pina colada flavored mushroom juice one night. It has always had a calming effect on me since, even though I don't, uh, go out for awhile anymore.

I used to scream the lyrics of this while driving around town, contemplating running away. I just liked the idea of not being home today.

I've loved this whole album since it was released, but this song was one of the reasons I bought a guitar. The lyrics sound like they're about me, or at least the girl I used to be (who is someone I think of a lot while writing a memoir, heh.)

And a look back at my teen years wouldn't be complete without the song that I thought defined me best.

Somehow I feel like this girl and the girl in Lithium all at once. Bah. Thanks for listening to the music with me. I swear these songs kept me alive in high school. Just knowing someone out there could express it better for me was like finding water in the desert. It made it bearable.