Monday, September 7, 2009

Worship High

There are some places where the rules of society don't apply. I'm allowed to curse and yell at the man who cuts off my car on the highway, but not the woman who cuts off my cart at the grocery store. In a mosh pit, I'm allowed to shove and hit people and they're allowed to elbow and kick me. In a charismatic evangelical church, I'm allowed to experience musical euphoria, cry, dance, or collapse onto the floor in an emotional puddle. I'm allowed and even encouraged to raise my arms up, to smile while tears stream down face. So it makes sense that now that I don't go to church, I never experience that anymore.

The Holy Spirit is not any more absent in my life now than he ever was. Concluding, as I have, that God is imaginary, I see that the presence or lack of God in my life is not the determining factor. Rather, I never go anywhere anymore where lame dancing and public displays of internal emotions are so heartily encouraged or even tolerated as they were at church. I'm not going to break down at the pool or the bar or the grocery store. The environment is what elicits the response, not the calling of God on your heart. Or my heart. Sorry, my heart just pumps blood. Really, really fast in a mosh pit.