Woman's Role in the Home pt. 3

Okay here's the third installment in our series. (Check out the second one here.)

M – Mold Your Children. When I think of the word “mold”, I think of The Potter, God, molding the clay, us, into useful vessels as it speaks of in Jeremiah 18. As Christian mothers, we can and should be instruments that God can use to mold our children. Our desire should be for our children to grow up to be vessels fit for the Master’s use.

Okay except, I'm not a lump of clay. Or an instrument or a vessel, and I don't want my life to be for some master's use. And I don't want my son to be a molded lump either. I want him to make his own choices and find his own path, and be his own person. Of course I'll try to influence and shape him, by expressing what I approve of and what I value and what I find reprehensible. But I don't ever want him to think he is meant to be shaped to someone else's design.

Molding our children into these vessels is a continual process. Our teaching and training time with them cannot be “here a little, there a little”. If a potter works on a lump of clay for a while and then sets it aside, intending to come back to it at a later date, what is going to happen to the clay? It will become hardened. So it is with children. If we neglect to teach and train them daily according to the principles found in God’s Word, there is danger of them becoming hardened to the things of the Lord.

If you don't indoctrinate early and often, they'll think these tales are ridiculous and this morality inferior. Find out how brainwashing can work for your family today!

How can we as mothers be used by God to “mold” our children? Deuteronomy 6:6,7 says, “And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart:” What you teach your children must first be in your heart. If you are not allowing the Lord to speak to you DAILY through His Word, you cannot effectively teach your children.

Uh, the Lord isn't speaking to me daily or even semi-annually, yet I am effectively teaching my child. Hell, Blue's Clues is effectively teaching him*. Do you think Joe's right with God?**

“And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.” These verses tell me that I need to be speaking of the Lord and His Word throughout the day….while cooking supper, teaching math, folding laundry, playing, cleaning, etc…

Sounds like argument ad nauseum to me. Say it over and over again, and anything sounds possible. "God is all these contradictory things at the exact same time and the entire Bible is true, even the parts that disagree with the other parts. Amen." Stamp out doubt, stamp out doubt...

I need to be sensitive to opportunities God gives me to apply Biblical principles to “day-to-day” situations. I have found that the more time I spend in the Bible, the easier this is to do. Luke 6:45 says, “A good man out of the good treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is evil: for of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaketh.” Whatever I have hid in my heart is going to naturally come out in my conversation.

This is where Christianity can get really oppressive. I remember feeling like I could express too much appreciation for something, or it would become an idol and then I wouldn't get to have it anymore. I wasn't allowed to actually feel proud of my singing voice, and I could like fantasy books or plays or friends too much, because God was supposed to be my primary focus. Every minute I spent playing video games or watching Monty Python or smoking cigarettes down at the park with friends was a minute I wasn't putting God first. A guy told me in a video recently that "atheism sucks the life out of its followers". Thinking I was cheating on my god anytime I spent a minute on an activity that wasn't completely about him - (like worship, or church volunteer work, or youth group activities, or devotions time) left me feeling like a battered lover.

There are many principles from God’s Word that we need to be teaching our children as we are used of God to mold them, but I would like to quickly name a few.

1. We need to teach them of their need for a Saviour and God’s wonderful plan of salvation. Salvation is only through repentance and faith in the finished work of the cross. Romans 10:9,10 says, “That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness ; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation.”

Right, can't have your kids thinking they're okay the way God made them. Gotta teach them that they're wicked, and in need of salvation for their dirty humanness.

And, II Peter 3:9 says, “The Lord is not slack concerning his promise, as some men count slackness; but is longsuffering to us-ward, not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance.” I cannot save my children…they must each trust Christ as their own personal Saviour.

If He doesn't want any of us to perish, why did he set up a system where so many people are guaranteed to? After all, merely repenting towards your fellow human being isn't what's required here. Rachel says salvation "is only through repentance and faith in the finished work of the cross." She can't save her babies, so she has to raise them in fear of themselves, so that they won't tarry in getting "saved."

2. We need to teach them the importance of reading God’s Word. Tell them how precious God’s Word is and how we need to love and treasure it. Psalm 119:97 says, “O how love I thy law! It is my meditation all the day.” Our attitude toward the Bible will affect their attitude.

Ah, yes. If you don't convince them at an early age that the Bible is holy, and if they actually read it, they might not come to the conclusion that the book is the Word of God or divine or somehow inspired or even good. And that would be a tragedy, after all. I can't fault Rachel for indoctrinating her children, much as it pains me. Remember, she was indoctrinated as a child herself. The fear she used to feel about her own immortality is now for her children. Given that set of propositions, telling your children over and over that they need a savior, and that the savior wants them to read this book, is the loving thing to do. It's just not true.

But, we not only need to stress the importance of reading their Bible, but also to live it. James 1:22 says, “Be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only…”

Okay, well, I gotta give her points for avoiding hypocrisy. Unfortunately, the word that she is being faithful to is genocidal, fear-mongering, and insane.

3. Teach them the importance and privilege of prayer. Teach them, by example, to go to the Lord about everything….every burden…every decision to make.

Well, it's what she looked for in a marriage, so it's hardly surprising she desires a submissive, following role with her god as well. Why make decisions when you can just trust the menfolk and the man-god?

The last part of James 4:2 says, “ye have not because ye ask not” and then II Chronicles 16:9 says, “For the eyes of the Lord run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to shew himself strong in the behalf of them whose heart is perfect toward him.” How many times have we missed having a burden lifted, or lacked wisdom in making the right decision simply because we didn’t ask? James 1:5 says, “If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally…” Teach your children the power of prayer.

So do you suppose people dying of disease and starvation, malnutrition and political strife and war, do you suppose those people never asked God to improve their lot in life? Certainly some of them may not believe in the Christian god, and so I can see they'd be screwed (although this hardly seems to mesh with a god who doesn't desire for any to perish), but there are Christian amputees and Jewish amputees (and atheist amputees.) Do they "have not" because they ask not? Or do you suppose they asked, and god just didn't answer them? Was he "slack as some men count slackness" during the Nazi Holocaust or the genocide in Darfur? Ah yes, the power of prayer.

4. Teach them to be faithful to the Lord’s house. Hebrews 10:25 says, “Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching.” Psalm 92:13,14 says, “Those that be planted in the house of the Lord shall flourish in the courts of our God. They shall still bring forth fruit in old age; they shall be fat and flourishing.” Teach them, once again by example, the importance of faithfulness to God’s house. Psalm 122:1 says, “I was glad when they said unto me, Let us go into the house of the Lord.” Are you “glad” when Sunday morning comes? Children learn much by example.

Especially when they're not permitted to see any other examples. Church is largely boring. The exceptions tend to be on the crazier and crazier ends - rooms full of adults dressed in business casual, jumping up and down to some incredibly simplistic GCDC music; handling snakes; or else writhing on the floor "slain in the Spirit" or being delivered from demonic activity. Beyond those frightening displays, it largely consists of sitting or standing in a room for an hour or hours, listening to someone read and explain a book that doesn't actually apply to your modern-day life, desperately trying to make it fit, like solving a jigsaw puzzle with a razor blade and a roll of scotch tape.

5. Teach them to choose godly friends. Proverbs 13:20 says, “He that walketh with wise men shall be wise, but a companion of fools shall be destroyed.” How many Christian young peoples’ testimonies or even lives have been destroyed simply because of a wrong friend? Psalm 119:63 “I am a companion of all them that fear thee, and of them that keep thy precepts.” The right kind of friends will encourage and build you up in the faith. I heard a preacher once say, “Show me your friends and I’ll show you what you are or what you soon shall be.”

Ah, well, if a preacher said it, it must be true! No, wait that's scientists. Oh wait, no, that's not anybody. Nice argument from authority there, Rachel, but I don't actually respect the authority of clergy. When you say "teach them to choose" do you mean, instill them with values you cherish and clearly state your expectations for behavior to your children, or do you mean TELL them "Don't hang out with those godless kids down the block. They'll lead you to Hell"?

6. Teach them that they can and should be godly examples to others, even in their youth. II Timothy 4:12 says, “Let no man despise thy youth; but be thou an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity.” Don’t believe the lie that it is “normal” for every child to “sow their wild oats.” Yes, some children will rebel. “…a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame.” Proverbs 29:15, but children do not have to go through a time of rebellion. Proverbs 20:11 says, “Even a child is known by his doings, whether his work be pure, and whether it be right.” We should expect godly behaviour even in our children if they are saved.

Well, separation or "rebellion" actually is a vital step in child development. The early years are the enmeshed absorption years, where your child basically emulates you and generally likes you and wants to please you. Then comes puberty, sexual identity, and the beginnings of self-definition. If you're permitted to form a more individual identity at this point, you "come into yourself." If you're not given this freedom, then you struggle against nature and yourself to stay a child.

7. Teach them the blessing of obedience as well as honour. Ephesians 6:1-3 says, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;) That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.”

And here I was planning on teaching my son compassion, and ethical decision-making skills. I'm not raising my son to be a sheep, a sacrifice, or a lump of clay. I'm raising him to be a man. When we describe a man we admire, how often do we start by saying, "Oh well he is so obedient!" (That we still consider this a positive trait in women bothers me, but social change takes time and I can read & vote & divorce & own property & sue for sexual harassment, so things are moving in the right direction.)

But not only teach them the blessing, but warn them of the danger of disobedience and disrespect. Proverbs 30:17 says, “The eye that mocketh at his father, and despiseth to obey his mother, the ravens of the valley shall pick it out, and the young eagles shall eat it.” Proverbs 20:20 says, “Whoso curseth his father or his mother, his lamp shall be put out in obscure darkness.”

Listen to your mother, and I'll set the birds loose to peck your eyes out. Oh, and mommy & daddy & Jesus love you.

The obedience and respect that we are to teach them should not be only toward parents. Hebrews 13:17 says, “Obey them that have the rule over you, and submit yourselves: for they watch for your souls, as they that must give account, that they may do it with joy, and not with grief: for that is unprofitable for you.” We need to stress the importance of respect and obedience toward our pastor, teachers, etc. It’s a sad day that we are living in. I’ve never seen so much disrespect for elders among children. The saddest part about this is that much of it goes on in our own churches.

Ah, the appeal to simpler times. You know who always told me kids needed to respect their elders? My elders. Seems like there's a conflict of interest there, really. And of course, it was this unquestioning obedience and deference to elders which left me so unprepared for the sexual molestation a neighbor put me through. As a septuagenarian, he was certainly my elder, and I had been taught to obey my elders. I try to teach my own son to be nice to people, but to defend his body. (If somebody tries to kill you, you try to kill 'em right back.)

I’m reminded of the story in II Kings when the little children came forth and mocked Elisha. God brought swift punishment on these children. If you love your children, you will teach them the importance of obedience and respect for their elders.

Respect your elders, or God will sic bears on you! So, why are you teaching your children this book is holy?

8. Teach them to one day teach their children. Psalm 78:1-7 says, “Give ear, O my people, to my law: incline your ears to the words of my mouth. I will open my mouth in a parable: I will utter dark sayings of old: Which we have heard and known, and our fathers have told us. We will not hide them from their children, shewing to the generation to come the praises of the Lord, and his strength, and his wonderful works that he hath done. For he established a testimony in Jacob, and appointed a law in Israel, which he commanded our fathers, that they should make them known to their children: That the generation to come might know them, even the children which should be born; who should arise and declare them to their children: That they might set their hope in God, and not forget the works of God, but keep his commandments.” A favorite example of this is found in II Timothy 1:5 “When I call to remembrance the unfeigned faith that is in thee, which dwelt first in thy grandmother Lois, and thy mother Eunice; and I am persuaded that in thee also.” Our desire for our children should not just be to see them grow up and remain faithful to the Lord. We should teach them to instruct their children also…and so on.

Because religion is hereditary. And I did the same thing. I prayed the Lord's prayer a few hundred times during my 98-hour labor, and I brought my son to church. I put him in Sunday School & read children's Bible stories to him. I was trying to share something important to me with my son, and did not recognize the brainwashing path I was leading him down. Fortunately, I woke up before any strong belief in Jesus was instilled. Still, this generational-faith description does make me tend to agree with Dawkins' statement that "faith is a virus."

That's all for today - come back tomorrow for E- Encourage Other Women. For now, enjoy my latest video :D







* When I get pissed, Little Man reminds me "Angry mommy? Stop, breathe, and think!"

** No, Steve did not die of a heroin overdose. The actor quit because he didn't want to go bald on national kid's TV. Seriously. I saw it on the 10 Year Anniversary Blue's Clues Special, which I absolutely did watch. Also, since there are two transition episodes featuring Steve and Joe, it's amazing that urban legend is still going around.

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My Online Biology Teacher (cdk007)

cdk007, whoever you are, your videos are totally making up for that crappy public school education I got (compounded with day-age creationist beliefs!)

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One Laptop Per Child

I've been wanting to add a couple new features to ATAT. I'm a big believer in forming an atheist community, not just outlets for intellectual expression, but also for forming friendships and establishing some of the social context for discussing all kids of issues, not just those about the first amendment, or biology, or Mormons, or his noodly appendage.

One of the most positive benefits I experienced from church community* was the share sense of responsibility for mankind. This was in the post-cult, Vineyard and Episcopalian years, but even as a young girl I enjoyed picking which charity I wanted to give my weekly ten cent tithe to. So I've been thinking a lot about how we could incorporate some of those same conversations about giving an charity and the good work we contribute to - with our finances, time, or energy - and kind of remind the world that we care, too. Not having any gods hasn't stopped us from caring about others; many of us who used to believe feel a more pressing need to take care of the most vulnerable on our planet, since we no longer think their struggles or suffering will all be made right in an afterlife.

November is breast cancer awareness month, and I lost my godmother - the most kind and affectionate maternal figure I had - to breast cancer April 19, 2007 and it still hurts. But I'm seeing myself more and more as someone who champions children's rights and children's causes So, while I'm sure the folks at the Susan G. Koman Foundation would be glad of a donation, this month I've decided to feature One Laptop Per Child.

The mission of One Laptop per Child (OLPC) is to empower the children of developing countries to learn by providing one connected laptop to every school-age child. In order to accomplish our goal, we need people who believe in what we’re doing and want to help make education for the world’s children a priority, not a privilege.

OLPC’s mission is to provide a means for learning, self-expression, and exploration to the nearly two billion children of the developing world with little or no access to education. While children are by nature eager for knowledge, many countries have insufficient resources to devote to education—sometimes less than $20 per year per child (compared to an average of $7,500 in the United States). By giving children their very own connected XO laptop, we are giving them a window to the outside world, access to vast amounts of information, a way to connect with each other, and a springboard into their future. And we’re also helping these countries develop an essential resource—educated, empowered children.

The internet led me to atheism. Google helped me discover my grandmother was a cult leader. The pro-anorexia movement, for all its faults, kept me alive and somewhat sane during the darkest years of my life. We all know how empowering the internet can be, and how much someone with little money can learn - and how connected they can be with other ideas and other people - if they have access to the free information and communication on the web.

For everyone who wished you could donate to the Atheist Association of Uganda, here is one way you can help children in Uganda and other parts of the world, living amidst superstition, war, and ignorance. If you have the funds and would like to support this charity, you can go here to donate to One Laptop per Child. For $199 US you can buy a laptop for a child in th developing world (which used to called third-world.) If you'd like to promote this charity yourself, I'd greatly appreciate it. I think this is a wonderful secular charity with goals we can all get behind.


*I said it was a positive aspect of the community, not the religion so don't get all excited, theist readers :)

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More of my grandmother

Holy crap. I found new sites with my grandmother's books by doing an image search of her name. (I was trying to find a picture of her, for my last post. It's not like I could do a funny comic strip with that one.)

Three copies of her book "Healing in Zion" (which is waaaaaaay craizer than the other two "non-fiction" books: it's a blueprint for disaster) are being shared around with various Quiverfull and homeschool families through the Victory Christian School lending library. *facepalm* There are only so many copies of her books out there, and (on top of the new cult survivors social network, this blog, my book, and raising my kid) I'm trying to round up as many of them as possible. (Donations to ATAT for this purpose would be greatly appreciated!) But here these three copies are doing damage to far more than three families. And unlike a lot of the midwives who sell her books on their websites (and who should therefore be stripped of ever working with women again), this group isn't selling their only copies. They're keeping her toxic view of the world in circulation, poisoning large families.

So I wrote the absolutely most Christian sounding email I could, and sent it from my other email address, the one that doesn't have "antitheist" in the name. It took a little creativity to portray myself as being onboard with their vision in every other respect, and just wanting this one book removed, without actually lying. I just don't think they'll take the advice of an atheist - even one with facts and court cases and dead babies on her side - on the issue of what books Christian families devoted to faith should read. Gig's teachings will find fertile ground in this community, and that sickens me and worries me. It's like that painful scene in a movie, when you know everything is going to come crashing down on your protagonist, but there's nothing that can be done to stop it. But I'll still try to stop it.

Hello and good day,

I am Carol Balizet's granddaughter; she is the author of "Healing in Zion" which I see you offer in your lending library. I myself was homeschooled, and have very fond memories of the experience. I think the idea of a lending library between homeschool families is fantastic, and an excellent way of sharing resources.

I am sure you are unaware that Carol's teachings have led to the deaths of several children, and that she is now classified as a "cult leader" for some of her heretical teachings. I would ask you to please read the links I've provided below, and prayerfully consider removing her teachings from your library. I am quite concerned about the damage these books have already done to God-fearing, loving, and well-meaning families.

The majority of these links are from Christian cult-watch organizations.
http://www.apologeticsindex.org/b17.html
http://www.rickross.com/reference/zion/zion2.html
http://www.ccgm.org.au/articles/Articles/ARTICLE-0007.htm

These are testimonies from a pro-homebirth site, explaining why Carol's teachings are unbilical and dangerous.
http://www.birthjunkie.com/ZBHarticle.html
http://www.birthjunkie.com/testimony2.html


I can provide more links if you like. If you have more questions, please feel free to email me or call me at home at (813) 421-2641*. I would be more than happy to explain my concerns to you.

I wish you all the best.
Sincerely,

Angie Jackson

* p.s. to my readers - That's my new Google Voice line, so it is open for anybody that needs to talk about this stuff - cults and faith and children and nonsense and getting better. It's really great connecting with you and knowing that you're out there. :)

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Stealth Atheism

I play a few games on Facebook, like Farmville and Cafe World, where you get more points or advance faster in the game by having more friends who also play. Rather than harass my blog readers or the few family members who haven't un-Friended me yet with invitations to play, I added a whole bunch of other gamers to my Friends list.

And then I post things about atheism, and the First Amendment, and faith healing. Most of my game friends appear to be Christian. I can't tell you how many times someone has sent me an angel or a "God loves you" app invitation, or how many times I've seen "god's message to you" posted on someone's Facebook wall. (That one's actually hilarious, because it's always "In God we Trust" for everyone, and it's a picture of a freaking dime. So I get to comment and tell them how that's only been on the money since the 50s.)

The majority of these people might never knowingly befriend an atheist. I may be the first open atheist they've ever even slightly known. So, I try to use these annoying pro-Christian messages as an opportunity to let people know atheists are out there. I got an invitation today to join the group "Let God in Schools" *shudder*. Rather than just ignoring it, I sent this private message back to the woman.

Hi M,

I wanted to thank you for asking me to be involved. I'm actually a fierce defender of the 1st Amendment, which calls for separation of church and state. The government stays out of churches, and churches stay out of the government, including public schools (which includes children of all faiths and no faith at all).

I am an atheist myself, but I completely respect and will fight for your right to practice your religion respectfully. I would ask that you consider the imposition of god into school, if it was from some other religion. If Muslims were the dominant population in America, would you want the Koran taught in public schools, or would you want your children to be free to worship Jesus and read the Bible, and not be required to pay homage to Allah during school?

Again, thanks for the invitation. I enjoy being Facebook game buddies with you :)

Take care,
Angie

I spectifically used the Muslim argument, not to pit Christians against Muslims, but to put them in the atheist's shoes for a second, as the "other" from the group in power. And because it worked on my mom, who didn't see why I was complaining about my son being asked to sell "Bible Verses for Kids" as a school fundraiser, until I asked her how she'd feel about him selling "Koran Verses for Kids".

Now M. here might unfriend me. My family has shown me that's an option. She might ignore my note entirely. She might think about these things, and be a little less pushy about getting her faith in school - maybe she never considered it from another perspective before. And she may email me back with questions like, "What's an atheist?" or "But why can't we have god in school?"

I encourage you to engage in "stealth atheism" as well. Make friends or acquaintances with believers. Let them know you on some minimal level, and form an opinion of you based on your character, and then let them know "Oh yeah, I'm an atheist." It's not a dirty word; it's not inherently offensives; it's not even necessarily anti-religion (that's anti-theism folks, not atheism). And the more we just own up and claim the word and say, "Yup, we exist" the less marginalized we'll feel, AND the more some Christians will consider atheists and non-Christian theists in public policy. Not every Christian is a theocrat, so the better we can educate them on atheism, secular humanism, and non-religious ethics and morality, the less distrusted atheists will become.

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Would this make me "militant"?

My son attends public school through funding for special education preschoolers (Hooray for the one thing NCLB got right - paraprofessionals and speech therapists!) His teacher is fantastic, and he'll be with her for all of this year and next year. The staff even put together a big birthday present for him, because they know I'm unemployed and struggling financially. I love my kid's school.

So here's the problem. They sent home a big catalog for fundraising. It's like all the fundraisers rolled into one - chocolates, infomercial-type kitchen gadgets, ugly costume jewelry, and of course, wrapping paper. Here's where things get sticky. In this 39 page catalog, 13 pages offer Christmas items, 1 page offers CHRISTIAN Christmas items (Bible verses and nativity scene wrapping paper; angel tree ornaments; books of "Bible Verses for Kids"), 1 page with 2 items for Hanukkah (1 dreidel wrapping paper, 1 dreidel book - Jews only get a half page, because the rest is filled with secular chocolate). There is nothing for Kwanzaa, Ramadan, Yule, or Festivus. There is no neutrality, by sticking with secular themes like winter. (There's some gift bags on one of the not-Christmas pages that just feature snowmen on them.)

So, essentially, the school just asked my kid to sell Christmas and Christian knickknacks, to raise money for his public secular government-run school. And that bothers me. It bothers me because Hanukkah isn't the only "other" winter holiday. It bothers me because I know for a fact some of the kids in his class have Muslim parents (or an atheist parent). It bothers me because I don't want to make a fuss, but I don't want my kid selling religious paraphernalia. (I would rather he smokes pot in high school than experiment with youth groups.)

It bothers me, because I feel like I'm going to risk jeapordizing my son's excellent education, by asking his school to uphold the Constitution. It bothers me that the one way to contribute that the school has asked of me is so exclusive. It bothers me because Christian products shouldn't be sold in public school fundraisers, and religious companies shouldn't get a cut of what my son makes raising money for PUBLIC school. (I went to Christian school and we never sold this stuff - We just did World's Finest Chocolate. If my son had brought those home, I would have bought a case and the whole thing would have been a non-issue. Plus then I'd have chocolate.)

So, rather than posting a link for people to contribute to my kid's school by purchasing fundraiser items, like I originally planned to do (before reviewing the products), I'm going to call the principal on Monday. I'm going to explain the issue I have with the fundraiser they've chosen (or the School Board has chosen) and then ask what specific items the classrooms need. Once I have that list from her, I'll set up an account for his school on Donors Choose. That way if anyone's interested in helping out (and able to - I do *know* about the recession) they can directly contribute, instead of going through a third-party middle man.

The magazine is put out by American Fundraising Services, Inc. which is apparently a LOCAL group. I'm going to be calling them, too. And the School Board. I'm not going to demand that they discontinue this year's fundraiser (it wouldn't work). I actually do want these schools to be fully funded. I wish that happened through taxes instead of turning our kids into salesmen to pay for their own educations, but that's not the school's fault. I understand that they have to pick A fundraiser - I just don't want them using this one again once whatever contract they have expires.

Would you call me a militant atheist?
Do you think his principal will?
How bad could this turn out for my kid?
What would you do?
Should I just shut up, say nothing, buy nothing, and not rock the boat (because my special needs 4 year old is in that boat)?

UPDATE: I talked with the school social worker this morning. (She's awesome-nice and already knows I'm an atheist.) She helped me work on exactly what to say and then I contacted the principal. Then SHE told me that the PTA picks the fundraisers, but that there will be incentives/prizes and that I can contact them if I'm concerned. (She turned down my Donors Choose option, saying that I can just ignore this one and give to another fundraiser later. Sort of missing my point that I can't donate to the school without endorsing religious indoctrination creeping into school.) The entire school district website is down today, so I haven't been able to contact the PTA yet, but I'll keep posting updates as I know more. So far, two out of two have been respectful, nice, and understanding (even if the principal missed the whole "unconstitutional" angle.)

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Second Grade; part one

I liked Christian school. On my first day, all the kids gathered on the playground as their parents dropped them off, and played on the giant wooden roundabout, the long swing set, and the many slides. As we gathered into lines by grade, and I lined up with the second grade class, the petite dark skinned girl in front of me turned around and said, "Hi, our moms are friends. I'm Brooke. We should be best friends, too!" And so we were. And it really was that easy to join the social workings of the group. My cousin and I were instantly accepted, although Jason had a lot more shyness to contend with than I did.

I was friends with most with of the girls, and he was friends with most of the boys, and so we were the only two kids in class exempt from cooties. My friend Natalia might say, "Boys have cooties" and then, at a look from me she'd add, "except Jason." Likewise, he kept my reputation unsullied by the dreaded gender germ.

My teacher Mrs. Dempsey was married to the pastor of the church that owned the school. We went to a different church, so I only saw him as he lead Wednesday chapel services during school, but I thought she was wonderful. I've run into her over the years and over a decade a later she still recognizes me from the 8 year old girl I once was, and is happy to greet me in a grocery store or library. A few years after we left, we learned that Mr. Dempsey had been having an affair with - who else? - the church secretary.

Of all the philandering pastors, I'm maddest at him, because there are few people as genuinely loving as Mrs. Dempsey, and he blew it. Their two boys had graduated from the school's high school by then, so there was no pretense of staying for the kids. She stayed here in town with her head held high, and he was the one who left in shame.

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A Little Science, Please

Odds are, at least someone you know is a Christian. I'm really not sure about the demographic data of my readers, but I'm going to take a guess here that the majority of my readers know a child, or know someone who knows a child, who is being raised religiously. Got that? You know a "Catholic child" or a "Evangelical child" or a "Muslim child".



As you probably know by now, I was raised holy-flipping-fundie-gelical (and a faith healer to boot!) so my home-school/christian school/ public-school-in-Florida education left me woefully ignorant of many things. Also, the brainwashing didn't help.

As I've confessed many times before, I was a creationist. But I wasn't a Young Earth Creationist. Why not? Because I've loved geology since I was 3. I was about 6 when I asked my mom (then writing her dissertation) if I'd have to get a PhD to be a geologist. (She said yes, and so that dream died a little.) But I've always been fascinated by rocks and gemstones. I've moved fifteen times since I started my rock collection, and it's been lovingly packed and carted around the country with me each go around.

Since I started absorbing scientific factual information about the earth's stones and minerals at an early age - and in a completely oblique, non-threatening way to my parent's religion (not head-on like evolution) the claims for a young earth seemed appropriately ridiculous to me. (It would take another couple decades for the whole talking snake theory to seem equally ridiculous, but I'm okay now.)

(Seriously? Go back and click that talking snake link. You'll think me later.)

So here are some ideas I've had about ways to introduce science and scientific facts and principles to kids growing up in "godly" homes that you might know and love. Those are mostly targeted at early elementary and preschool aged kids, cos that's what I have one of.

Science With Me - This site is so cool! You have to sign up with an email address, but you can opt-out of receiving emails and they don't sell your addy. (Oh yeah, it's free.) Little Man really loves the animations. His favorites are A Steam Engine, That's Me (which talks about converting energy) and the Heart (pumping and ventricles and oxygen, oh my!) The whole thing is fantastic, and there are also some cute games. This site is really ideal for toddlers because the games are repetative. Little Man's favorites are the Apparatus Matching Game and the Solar System game (drag the planets to their orbits).

National Geographic - They have magazine subscriptions for every age. Little Man started with the infant magazine, National Geographic Baby Animals. This has very thick pages that can deal with drool and grabby hands, and mostly is just very simple four-word sentences and pictures of baby animals. He's now onto National Geographic Little Kids (ages 3-5) which has a lot more detailed information, but still in a very age-appropriate format. I look forward to continuing these subscriptions for years. The link goes to their kids website, which has things for kids between 4 and 12.

Blue's Clues - Yeah, I went there. "Oh no it's the television! It'll rot their brains!!!" Seriously, have you guys watched Noggin? (If you don't have a preschooler, probably not.) My son has speech delays and has been in therapy since before he turned one. And I still credit Blue's Clues for most of his language development. What's even more important is that it's a show that encourages thinking, making observations, and journaling ideas. Plus, I don't know a single religious parent who allows ANY secular TV who objects to Blue's Clues. It's cute, harmless fun that encourages thoughtfulness and experimentation. Many episodes feature "nature" issues (ahem, science) such as seasons, weather patterns, and habitats.

And on the TV front in general? I honestly think I learned more watching "too many hours" of PBS as a kid than I did in the first four years of school. Mostly because I remember asking my third grade teacher when we were going to start discussing negative and imaginary numbers, because I'd learned about them on Square One. My teacher said (I kid you not), "Those don't exist until you're older."



Yes, that is John Cougar doing a guest appearance. Seriously, how can you not love a show where they do cheesy math skits like this? (Remember readers - I am a HUGE nerd. And proud of it.)

Sid the Science Kid - This is a semi-annoying PBS show (I just don't like Sid's voice) but is all about science. The website is also truly fantastic. Each episode covers one scientific question and the testing of several hypotheses. Example: Sid realizes he can drown out the sound of his baby brother crying when he puts his hands over his ears. He spends the rest of the episode experimenting, surveying other kids at school, asking his teacher, researching, etc. and learns (along with the audience) all about sound waves and the shape of the human ear. Pretty cool stuff for an animated half-hour cartoon. Both this website and the Blue's Clues one take a heavy toll on the memory of my ancient computer, but otherwise the Flash games are very fun.

You can find lots of cool home science experiments on YouTube.



This one is so cool looking, it led me to call my scientist brother (handy!) and get a really interesting lecture on the surface tension of water, emulsifiers, and pretty pretty food coloring.

If you have more suggestions, I'd love to hear them. The most important thing about all these (IMNHO) is that they encourage kids to ask questions and seek answers. A plus is that they slip in under the radar of well-intentioned and woefully ignorant parents. :)

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