Irrational Responder (VID)

I, Angie Jackson, do solemnly swear to do my best to get an actually written post on this blog within the next 48 hours. Till then, enjoy my first video counter-apologetic :D



Isn't the internet amazing?

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Coming Out Straight & Other Lies

Because of the strong response I got to yesterday's pro-gay post, and because I'm still pissed that Ugandans are facing imprisonment for the "crime" of being gay, and because that's absolutely ridiculous, I decided to spend more time on ChangeisPossible.com. This story is from a man who claims the program is helping him to lose his Same-Sex Attraction (SSA or homosexuality for non tards.)

Tom's Story
“Out of the forthright admission of one’s frailties and the determined commitment to go on, comes a laminated strength powerful enough to overcome those who have not made such a struggle.” –from “Fantastic,” by Lawrence Lerner

Who the heck is Lawrence Lerner, another cure-the-gay quack? No, Laurence Lerner is the author of Fantastic but that's not the whole title. It should read Fantastic: The Life of Arnold Schwarzenegger. Somehow I doubt that quote is about coming out homosexuality.

By the time, at age 32, I began to seriously address my SSA, I had been struggling with it for so long I could barely remember life without it. There are no words to adequately express how consuming and crippling it was. As I write this, I am thirty-five and continuing on my journey of recovery, moving toward the reclamation of my true masculine potential which lay dormant for so long. Although two and a half years have passed since I decided to finally confront my SSA, the start of this journey seems like it was a lifetime ago. In some ways, it was.

Maybe you could "barely remember" life without homosexuality because you were born gay, and at 35 you are still gay. Not all men are masculine, and almost no men are entirely masculine (though I can sort of see why a program that lionizes machismo might admire Arnold.) I'm including straight men in this category. Just as I know very masculine gay men, I also know some fairly effeminate straight or bisexual men. I know guys who do martial arts and also get manicures. As one friend put it, "Bunch of pretty girls touching me for an hour while I sit in a massage chair? Hell yeah." There are straight men who like to dress nicely, and there are gay men who couldn't care less. This program is such obviously fake bullshit.

It all began when I was six years old. My father was at that time a raging alcoholic, my older brother (seven years older than I) was rebelling against him, and my mother was desperately trying to hold our family together. At about this time I started school, and I began to see how other kids behaved with their parents and how life appeared to be in their homes. I was and am a very sensitive person, very quick to read the surroundings and underlying mood of a situation. I recognized quickly that something was not entirely right in our home, not only with my father but with our entire family. As the years went on, it was very painful to watch my father deteriorate into his addiction, and along with him our family life deteriorated too.

You grew up in an abusive, dysfunctional home. That sucks. Your brother, like my brother, fell into the rebel role. It's not a fun one, but it is actually the healthiest. Your mom became an enabler, and you became an appeaser. I've loved and lived with an active alcoholic before. It's hell. You had a terrible childhood, and you didn't deserve that. I'm sorry it happened to you, but it did not cause your homosexuality.

When I was 10, my mother gave my father an ultimatum: “Stop drinking or I am leaving you!” He did stop, and never touched a drink again. Still, although the nights of wondering if my father would come home drunk ended, I still never felt comfortable with him. Particularly in the early years of his sobriety, it was as if our family was playing a game of make-believe; as if the turmoil caused by his drinking-or the anticipation of that turmoil-had never existed. To this day, my father has never once acknowledged that he was ever wrong. Even after nearly twenty-five years of sobriety, he cannot speak of his drinking days, and worse, he takes no responsibility for them.

My ex-husband didn't respond to my ultimatum the same way, and I'm glad. I think even if he had quit drinking he still would have been an asshole and that man would have died before admitting he'd made a mistake. He absolutely could not have a conversation about what went wrong and how we were gonna fix it. He's probably still an asshole, but he's not my asshole anymore.

As I’ve grown and come to better understand my father, I recognize that he is in many ways what Alcoholics Anonymous calls a “dry drunk,” someone who is no longer drinking but whose thinking is still distorted by the thought patterns of addiction. I also recognized very early on that I would rather die than be like him. It gives me no pleasure to say that; it is in fact profoundly sad to do so. But it is true. While my father was staying sober, my brother-with whom he never got along-was going his own way. My brother had the unique ability to infuriate our father on many occasions. Why couldn’t he just shut up and keep the peace? I made the decision somewhere around the age of 13 that I was never going to be like my brother, either.

AA calls anybody who's not a member of their cult a "dry drunk" (especially atheists.) Your brother was actually the healthy one. He was "going his own way" and going against your father - of course it caused friction, but that doesn't mean it was the wrong thing to do. I'm glad I rebelled. It was important to get practice making different choices, so that when I became a mom, I was able to be a completely different kind of parent. Now I've found love, and it's nothing like what my family or my ex gave me. But I had to learn to go against them and go against the way things had always been, and rebelling gave me years of practice.

During those turbulent years, the one thing I wanted more than anything else was to protect my mother. In my view, she’d been through enough. My father’s insensitivity to her, the stress she took on mediating between my brother and father, the pain the entire situation caused her-it was too much. I vowed that I would never hurt her. I would be the perfect son. In the process I became her sounding board, in a sense her emotional “husband.” To say I became overly attached to her is an understatement.

My mother tried to make me into her co-victim, too. I fell for it for years, but one day I woke up and I realized she should have done more to protect me. Just as surely as your father hurt you, your mother let him. She is no better than the omnipotent god who sits by and watches as priests rape children and cults poison minds and kill people. Also, you've trapped yourself in with always/never thinking - you'll never be like your dad, never like your brother, never hurt your mother... It's a lot for one kid or adult to handle.

Meanwhile, I was discovering that my extreme sensitivity and lack of athletic ability in a hyper-masculine hometown were crippling me. I did not fit in with the other boys. I was passive, afraid to fight. I liked to dress nicely, and I was weak and overweight. I felt in some ways, really in many ways, crushed by the circumstances of my life. I wanted to be someone else. By this time I was 13, in the spring of the seventh grade, and now my SSA began.

It sounds like you've been getting the message that you "ought" to be more masculine for a long time; that's unfortunate. There is nothing wrong with being sensitive to others' feelings or to dressing with care. While it is of course preferable to be healthy rather than unhealthy, it doesn't determine who you are or how much you matter. Trust me - losing the weight alone, without learning to love yourself, will never make you happy. You hit puberty, and your sexuality woke up. That's normal. For gay teens, that means being attracted to people of the same gender.

The first boy I became attracted to was a year older than I, and he was everything I could have been “if only.” He was smart, athletic, preppy, and seemed very nice. At that point I didn’t consciously think it was weird for me to be constantly thinking about this guy. What I remember asking myself was, How can I be more like him? How can I turn into him? How can I get him to like me?

As I entered high school, I re-experienced those feelings for other boys. They were always the same-lean, preppy, baby-faced, safe. I studied how they dressed and acted, what they liked and tried to emulate them. Above all else, I worked hard to get them to like me and be my closest friends. The tension and excitement that this all-consuming quest caused me cannot be overstated. I often masturbated while thinking about them, trying to relieve the anxiety that all of those feelings caused. Yet I remained in deep denial about the nature of my feelings.

I think probably a lot of us who felt uncool in middle and high school formed these kind of hero-worship infatuations. I certainly followed after a few alpha-females during my years of insecurity. And I'm attracted to woman who I would want to look like - I am pretty femme, and I'm more usually attracted to thin, femme women. It's what I find beautiful both in myself and in other women.* I dated girls and women of all different builds though, just as I've formed meaningful and sexual relationships with people who I didn't necessarily think were gorgeous the moment I met them. However, I most frequently fantasized those women I found most appealing - duh.

In the rare moments when I reflected on what I was doing, I recognized that it was highly unlikely that these boys, whom I so admired, felt the same way about me. But this didn’t stop me-my emotional cravings and need for belonging were too strong. Time after time, no matter what guy I pursued, obsessed over, and longed to be with, every single time I got my heart broken in some way. Nothing ever worked out the way I wanted it to. Before long I would turn my attention toward someone else, and the same thing would happen all over again.

It doesn't sound like you were pursuing mutually satisfying healthy relationships, and you had a poor self-image. That's a terrible combination for early dating years and I remember it well as sucking royally. However, I'm still hearing a lot of "always/never" statements - time after time, every single time, nothing ever worked, all over again - and those suggest to me a distorted image of what was really going on. My grandmother was a monster who led to the deaths of dozens of innocent children, yet even she had moments of kindness. Perhaps the only absolute statement we can make is that nobody is all one thing or another. So it's possible those boys would have liked you, were attracted to you, or would have enjoyed being your friend. It's easy to put someone unattainable on a pedestal - it's much harder to be someone's friend.

My religious tradition was Roman Catholic, and my SSA feelings were a source of guilt and shame to me. I had “girlfriends,” but only because it was what was expected of me. I would never have admitted to anyone that my feelings for guys were stronger and more intense than what I felt for girls. It was an exercise in stamina and required tremendous acting to pretend that I was “normal.”

Ah, now we get to it. The reason you don't want to be gay is because you were taught, brainwashed really, into believing that a Sky Daddy god wanted you to dig chicks. If you had instead come out of the closet, particularly if you'd been in a loving and supportive environment of accepting people, you could have discovered what satisfying emotional and sexual relationships with men could be like. You could have made gay friends and boyfriends and had a full and meaningful life as a gay man. Instead you were a gay man trapped in a straight facade, unable to enjoy the company of women or have the relationship you sought with men. That's heartbreaking. And it's an indictment on religion, not on homosexuality.

In the summer between seventh and eighth grades, a man I had come to trust and tried to emulate offered me a ride home from an event. I was shocked when he started asking me questions about how often I masturbated, how I did it, and whether I liked it. His questions made me extremely uncomfortable, but I wanted his attention too much to say so. Then, after a few minutes of this kind of talk, he softly said, “Show me how you do it.”

It has been twenty-one years since this incident took place and I still cannot adequately explain the fear I experienced in that moment. Why did I accommodate him? Why did I do what he asked? Because I was afraid-too afraid not to. I was afraid that if I didn’t do what he wanted, he wouldn’t like me anymore.

As I complied with his request and pulled down my pants, he took one look at me and then began to mock and laugh. I was humiliated beyond words. Even more confusing, minutes later, as he continued to drive me home, he kept talking about nothing in particular, as if the incident never had happened. In the months and years to come I saw this man frequently and he never again asked me to do such a thing. But what he did, which was perhaps even more devastating, was continue to belittle me as he had done during the incident.

You trusted someone and he exploited your vulnerabilities and your age for his own sick ends. I'm sorry. I used to ask myself, why did I keep going back to Pam's house where her dad would molest me? Because as awful as it was, on some level, I realized that at least someone was paying attention to me. You were starved for love and for attention and this man hurt you, and then mocked you, and never apologized for what he did.

I promised myself not to speak of that event to anyone-never, ever. I tried to put it out of my mind, but for the next two decades I carried it within me, feeling deep shame and confusion. As I got older, I heard about other boys who’d had absolutely horrifying experiences of sexual abuse over long periods of time. I tried to convince myself that my own experience was really nothing-a moment too insignificant to remember. But in my heart I knew that simply wasn’t true.

That was a really unhealthy response. Talking about sexual abuse makes it less shameful, less personal, and less terrible. And it really does no good to compare our pain to someone else's. I remember even as a little girl in group therapy, feeling so grateful that the man who molested was someone else's dad, and not mine. Out of all the girls in there, I was the only one who hadn't been touched by a dad, stepdad, fosterdad, fosterbrother, granddad, uncle, or mom's boyfriend. Yet my pain was sufficient to need help and healing and someone to talk to. There is no minimum threshold for sexual abuse that is okay and not worth remembering or recovering from. Any abuse is destructive and needs to be addressed.

Meanwhile, even as I tried to pursue a normal life, my attraction to guys continued. There were still girlfriends, too, but as soon as our relationships led to intimacy, whether physical or emotional, an automatic barrier closed in around me. Finally, after “fooling myself” for a couple of years, when I was 24 I concluded it was very likely that I was gay.

Ten years after you noticed your first attractions for guys, you concluded you were gay? Okay well then when you look back on the "unhappiness" of your gay life, remember that you were made miserable by religious guilt and pretending to be something you're not. The homosexuality itself wasn't the problem, just how your religion and family made you feel about it, and your decision to try to bury your feelings rather than meet your needs.

Now I actively began to seek out other gays. I wanted to explore my feelings further, even though I felt almost nauseated every time I did so. Gradually my emotional attachments to men turned into physical relationships. Every time it happened, I came away more sad, confused, lonelier than ever, and sickened by my behavior. I tried to convince myself that everything was OK, but something inside me knew very well that it was not.

You jumped into physical intimacy before you had become comfortable with your sexuality. That's bound to cause pain, especially if you've been brought up to believe that homosexuality is somehow evil, unnatural, or wrong. That sense of nausea you describe isn't typical of healthy emotional or sexual encounters.

This pattern of playing straight while having a double life went on for the next three years, until the night I met the man who would ultimately set me on the path to self-recovery. He was the ultimate combination of all the qualities I had sought for the past fourteen years. He was impossibly good looking, preppy, baby-faced, physically unimposing-everything I had ever desired in one package. I fell not into love but into an obsession that I now shudder to think about. I clearly remember thinking, if I could win his friendship, my life would be complete. I was convinced that, with him beside me, my life of longing and loneliness would be over.

The fact that you were "playing straight while having a double life" tells me you never experienced life as an openly gay man, dating other openly gay men and being comfortable with your sexuality. One person can never fill the hole left by our parents. We have to fill that with friends and lovers and therapists over many years, but we can get better. We can't rely on one person to make us happy, though, no matter how much we might admire them and be aroused by them. I have been convinced though, that gaining one simple unattainable thing (thinness) would make me happy. It didn't. It was insufficient to meet my need.

For the next year and a half, I pursued him with sick determination. And every time I went out of my way to prove myself to him, every time I sacrificed, every time I drove past by his house in the middle of the night, I knew deep inside that I was in serious trouble. To the best of my knowledge, he never knew the extent of my feelings. Or maybe he did. The point is my yearnings were never reciprocated. Worse than that, I got the feeling he didn’t really care at all.

Again, this sounds like a very unhealthy way of dealing, although I can recognize you didn't have good modeling of emotional management or wish fulfillment growing up. If you had been an openly gay man in a community of gay friends, you would probably have been protected from some of the worst aspects of this unhealthy obsession and unrequited desire.

The pain was crippling. I could never stop thinking about him, and to alleviate my obsession, I impulsively went out in the middle of the night to hook up sexually with the first guy I could find. This went on for months, until one winter night, I sat down alone in my apartment, lonelier and more isolated than I had ever been. I cried bitterly, thinking of the wreckage my life had become, thinking of all the men I had pursued, especially over the last year. I wrote down a vow that I fully intended to keep, even if I didn’t know how to do so. All I knew was that this emotional torture could not go on. This will never happen again! I promised myself. Of course my SSA desires continued despite my best intentions. For the next few years, I emotionally cut myself off, despite the fact that I occasionally slipped up and hooked up when the craving became too strong. Three years after I made my vow, and after I repeatedly broke it without really wanting to, I admitted to myself that I needed help.

Acting-out sexual behaviors, like hooking up with the first guy you can find because you're unhappy, is unhealthy. Like so many other aspects of your story, it's also understandable. Again, if you'd been openly gay and in supportive friendships and relationships with other gay people (instead of just obsessing over one man and having meaningless sex with others) you probably would not have been nearly so unhappy. You might have had friends or close romantic relationships. You might have been fulfilled, but when you were pretending to be straight, and fantasizing about an unattainable man, you had sex out of misery, not love or desire or intimacy or fun.

I dated a Catholic. He would periodically decide that he felt horrible guilt over his heathen lifestyle (that I quite enjoyed) and would go confess to his priest, and then make vows not to touch beer or women or pot again. These were ridiculous promises for him to make, and only amplified his sense of guilt. Like a perfectionist trying to do the impossible, you were trying to make yourself be straight by sheer force of will. And sexuality isn't a choice; if it was, I imagine fewer people would be gay because Christians in our society so often treat gay people unfairly.

But my fear of seeking help was overwhelming. What would I find out if I actually talked to someone about my life? Was I truly gay? Was there any hope for change? I continued to struggle with these questions for close to a year. At last, shattered by one more intolerable relationship, I finally did a search on the Web for some kind of an organization that could help men like me. I found the International Healing Foundation website, where I read, “No one is born with SSA.”

That was it. I had been right all along. I wasn’t supposed to be gay.

Well, if you'd talked to PFLAG, an SGA, or anybody else who wasn't a quack, you would have found out that about 1 out of 10 American men are gay, and that isn't an insult to their character or anything else; they just happen to like dudes. Instead you found an organization that promised to remove your homosexuality, which is impossible. You weren't right all along. That's okay - I've been wrong about a great many things, more things than I have been right about. But I continue to grow and learn and get healthier. I no longer believe in God, I no longer think I suck, and I am no longer miserable.

Then I read Richard Cohen’s book Coming Out Straight. I identified with so much of what he wrote and recognized in myself several of the causes of SSA that he listed. I learned that I was a classic SSA male-extremely sensitive, with an alcoholic and abusive father, a very close connection to my mother, and a history of sexual abuse. This confirmed what I had always suspected, that my SSA feelings did not happen by accident. After wrestling with my fears a little longer, I made an appointment to talk to Richard.

Your dad's drinking, your mom's enabling, and your unhappy childhood didn't make you gay - they made you unhappy. Richard Cohen is a hack who exploits people's pain and loneliness for his own sick ends, much like the man who took advantage of you as a boy. And I've learned to be suspicious of a cure that "confirmed what I had always suspected" and to instead question what I've always believed. After all, just like you, I grew up in an abusive, unhealthy, dysfunctional home. I didn't get good models of sex, love, parenting, money management, healthcare, or work/life balance. I've had to look for sources that disagreed with the teachings of my family - religious and guilt-laden, like your own - to find real healing.

I thought we could figure all this out in his office, just between the two of us, until he stressed to me the importance of reaching out to other people. Tell other people? He had to be kidding. But he affirmed and reaffirmed this necessity, until I finally agreed to try. “You’d better be right about this!” I warned him.

Before long I discovered that I was blessed with a handful of men in my life with whom I could share the most intimate details of what I’d been through. These men were fantastic. I kept them and Richard captive for hours on end, talking through the heartaches, disappointments and failures I had never talked about to any one before. It was radical for me to open up like this.

Yes, of course you needed to talk to someone. And it makes sense, both as a gay man and as someone who was abused by a man, that you would want to talk about this with men. You were finally open with people about who you were, even though you were trying to change it, and you began to form healthy, strong, intimate relationships with other men on an emotional level, rather than an obsessive or hookup level. If only you'd been doing this in the context of accepting yourself, you could be very far on the path to healing from your horrible childhood by now.

Meanwhile, Richard explained that I had to spend the next year reconnecting to my inner child-the wounded little boy within me. Now at first I thought this was crazy. I did not sense any connection to any child, inner or otherwise. But I slowly realized that it was indeed my inner child who had to be healed, not the 33-year-old adult. This process was not easy, and it took a lot of time for me to connect with my inner child, because “he” had been hurt so deeply. I learned that I had to become a loving father to him-the kind of father I’d never had. Only in doing so could I overcome the lifelong pain, fear and loneliness that had led to my SSA. As I followed this healing path, slowly but surely my SSA feelings started to disappear.

Richard Cohen is a homophobic homosexual, unlicensed and kicked out of the American Counseling Association for ethical practices, who takes respected therapeutic principles and then blends them with guilt, Christianity, and cuddling and hurts people badly by convincing them their natural homosexuality is something that needs fixing.

Other difficult issues arose. Confronting the man who had humiliated me became necessary. Looking back, I am still surprised that I was so gung-ho, because being confrontational has never been part of my nature. When the moment finally came, seventeen months after I started my healing of SSA, I can honestly say that I have never felt God’s power more strongly than I did as I spoke to him. As empowering as that experience was, it was still only a part of the larger process of setting things right.

I screamed "You SUCK" at the top of my lungs at my mom. I called my grandmother and let her know I held her responsible for a little boy's death. I felt an exhilarating rush of relief, excitement, and triumph with both of these, but I did not mistake those feelings for the presence of an omnipotent god.

I wish that I could say the attempts I made in connecting with my father had gone well, too, but I learned something I had never considered: That I had the courage and insight to confront my demons, even if he could not. This process of confrontation, of setting things in order, of dealing with the pain, of listening to my inner child, of sharing with other men, and of embracing what I felt was my true nature, slowly but surely took away the underlying fear I had of “losing myself.” At last I am getting to know the man that I was truly meant to be.

I'm all for confronting demons, seriously. This blog and the book I'm writing are both ways I fight my fears and move behind my tragic past into a bright new tomorrow. It's nice that you've found friends, although the fact that your friends are invested in you becoming straight may place additional burdens on you. It will probably take you even longer to come to terms with your sexuality, as a result of following Cohen's teachings.

As I write this, I am in what Richard calls “Stage Four” of the healing journey. My next step is to speak about these things with my mother and heal my opposite-sex wounds. I am not sure how it will turn out, but I am not worried. I hope to establish a relationship with a woman soon, and believe that I will. The healing process takes a lot of time. You cannot rush something like coming out of SSA. But I can say with certainty that I cannot imagine returning to my past behaviors. I know that change is possible. I am living proof.

You are only proof that brainwashing is possible, and we already knew that. Telling your mom how much she negelcted you, and let your father's alcoholism and rage run your house, is important. It can be cathartic. But it won't make you straight, nothing will. You're a gay man, and the sooner you come to terms with that, the sooner you'll be able to find real love and real peace within yourself. It's sad to think you've wasted two and a half years in this program, and you're still gay. Just accept it - be okay with it. Your religion is nothing but myths, fairy tales, and lies and you are a human, prone to errors, hurt by your protectors, and in pain. Healing those wounds is necessary for happiness, but cannot change your sexual orientation.

That man is 35 years old and has never been in a real relationship. I think this is one of the saddest posts I've ever written. I need ice cream after that. Or at least something humerous to lighten the mood.









* I find lots of things beautiful in women, and think women of every size can be beautiful. I'm only talking about attraction though, and that's naturally a more specific definition.

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All I Want from Xmas

Anteaters, all I want for Xmas is your unwanted (new or second-hand!) Christian books. Send me your apologetics - the Rick Warren, Joel Osteen, CS Lewis, & Ray Comfort books your believing families give you in a well-meaning manipulative attempt to change who you are. (I say this as someone who once gave my husband a Bible & a Big Book of AA for Christmas gifts. I am familiar with the sometimes-loving motivation behind the well-meant gift of guilt.)

This year I actually want all those books, but there's no way I'm spending money on them, to support tax-free churches and pastors. So please, please, if you get one of these books and want to set it on fire, can you lend it to me for a couple months first? I'd love to debunk the bigger names & better known books (I'm looking at you Purpose-Driven Life.

Email me if you get these books & I'll give you a shipping address to send them to. I'll be posting a mention of you by name or screen name (or not if you're still in the atheist closet) along with debunkment series for each book I receive. Do a good deed for an atheist this winter :)










* If you request your book to be burned after reading, I will happily do so on camera & upload the video to YouTube. Just let me know.

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Is There a God? pt. 3

Today we'll complete the Official ATAT response to "Is There a God?" by Marilyn Adamson. (Hint: I reached different conclusions than Marilyn did.) (You might wanna start with Part 1 and Part 2. I'll wait for you.)

Done with those? Okay. Just as a reminder, let's go back to Marilyn's opening and what she originally said:

Just once wouldn't you love for someone to simply show you the evidence for God's existence? No arm-twisting. No statements of, "You just have to believe." Well, here is an attempt to candidly offer some of the reasons which suggest that God exists.

Okay, so she's offering real evidence, right? Yet so far all she's given us has been

• Complexity equals intelligent designer. (Didn't work in Dover. Intelligent design isn't science; it's myth.)
• Also, life is suited to its environment.
• First cause argument. *Yawn!*
• Natural laws are cool
• DNA is a code and Marilyn thinks that means someone with intelligence authored it for a purpose (huge leap, huh?)

So what does Marilyn have in store for us today?

Does God exist? We know God exists because he pursues us. He is constantly initiating and seeking for us to come to him.

Notice how we jumped from "Earth exists" to "We know a God exists" without any of that evidence Marilyn promised us? Yeah, so did I. And if a god wanted to communicate with us, surely its existence wouldn't be so unbelievable to so many of us. A god would be able to convince us.

I was an atheist at one time. And like many atheists, the issue of people believing in God bothered me greatly. What is it about atheists that we would spend so much time, attention, and energy refuting something that we don't believe even exists?! What causes us to do that? When I was an atheist, I attributed my intentions as caring for those poor, delusional people...to help them realize their hope was completely ill-founded.

Ah, the "I was an atheist" approach, or as I like to call it, the Kirk Cameron. And of course there's the lumping of "most atheists" when we know there is nothing uniform about atheism. Little Man is a default atheist, because he hasn't been taught religion. I'm a vocal and passionate anti-theist, because I despise religion for what it does to people. Boyfriend Dave is a bemused atheist, because other people's beliefs don't influence him personally very often, and he's happy to coexist with lunatics (which is good for me, I suppose, since I'm not exactly sane.) But Marilyn is trying to suggest that "most atheists" hold a certain view. I'm not even sure there are numbers that could back this up, because of course the atheists you notice more are the ones who are out there talking about religion and atheism and invisible pink unicorns.

Of course, I'm not spending time refuting god. I'm spending it refuting the claims of believers like Marilyn here. Also, I don't think Marilyn's motives or tactics have changed much, even if she's decided to believe something without sufficient evidence.

To be honest, I also had another motive. As I challenged those who believed in God, I was deeply curious to see if they could convince me otherwise. Part of my quest was to become free from the question of God. If I could conclusively prove to believers that they were wrong, then the issue is off the table, and I would be free to go about my life.

Okay, well this is sounding more and more like someone who was an atheist for bad reasons. I don't in any way think that god is disproven by me deconverting another theist. How many other people believe or don't believe doesn't affect the validity of the truth claims religions and scriptures makes, so I throw out the bandwagon fallacy when determining whether or not something seems likely to be true. (Being an atheist doesn't automatically lead to skepticism, critical thinking, or logic so there's no need for me to go with a "true atheist" fallacy: atheists are all different, and some of us are morons ripe for conversion.)

I didn't realize that the reason the topic of God weighed so heavily on my mind, was because God was pressing the issue. I have come to find out that God wants to be known. He created us with the intention that we would know him. He has surrounded us with evidence of himself and he keeps the question of his existence squarely before us. It was as if I couldn't escape thinking about the possibility of God. In fact, the day I chose to acknowledge God's existence, my prayer began with, "Ok, you win..." It might be that the underlying reason atheists are bothered by people believing in God is because God is actively pursuing them.

Marilyn here had a very specific atheist experience of being what I would call a seeker: she wanted to find a convincing enough argument to persuade herself to believe. She does not sound like someone who was comfortable or confident in her atheism, and she is projecting that onto all the rest of us. If God wants to be known so much, why isn't he? I mean, you think he's all-powerful, right? And dont' give me that "free will" nonsense, because the Bible says Lucifer had absolute knowledge of God's existence, yet still chose to go against him. Clearly knowledge does not negate free will.

I am not the only one who has experienced this. Malcolm Muggeridge, socialist and philosophical author, wrote, "I had a notion that somehow, besides questing, I was being pursued."

Ah, St. Mugg, who was once a great satirist and then become a "concerned citizen" of the type who railed against birth control and the blasphemy of Monty Python. If you don't think Monty Python is funny, I really must taunt you.*

C.S. Lewis said he remembered, "...night after night, feeling whenever my mind lifted even for a second from my work, the steady, unrelenting approach of Him whom I so earnestly desired not to meet. I gave in, and admitted that God was God, and knelt and prayed: perhaps, that night, the most dejected and reluctant convert in all of England."

Stalker God? I have no objection to meeting any god that is real. I reserve the right to withhold worship of course, but I have no desire to remain ignorant of a god that was real. All these former atheists are believers in the same religion. But Marilyn just as easily could have found converts to Islam or deconverts of Christianity.

Lewis went on to write a book titled, "Surprised by Joy" as a result of knowing God. I too had no expectations other than rightfully admitting God's existence. Yet over the following several months, I became amazed by his love for me.

If god exists and there's sufficient evidence, I'll gladly admit it. I'll be embarrassed as hell, but I'll share the evidence with others. The problem is that in the last several millenia, no god has revealed itself unquestionably to mankind (hence all the different religions). But as a former Christian, let me say I felt "God's love" at one time. But emotions aren't the best way of discerning reality from fantasy. Sometimes I'm scared, when there is no present threat, and sometimes I feel happy, even when things aren't going well. The "love" I felt was an internal emotion: no god was actually loving me, because no gods exist. Lewis wrote about his emotional experience of conversion and of being a Christian, but he had no great evidence for Christ's divinity or God's existence. ("Mere Christianity" used to be a favorite book of mine, but now it's laughably easy to debunk.)

Does God exist? Unlike any other revelation of God, Jesus Christ is the clearest, most specific picture of God revealing himself to us.

*snort* First of all, if the question is "Does God exist?" how the hell is "This one time out of all the times God said 'Yo, humanity, wassup?' is the best" an answer? You haven't demonstrated that a god exists, just that religions do (and the natural world), which none of us are denying. (Atheists believe in theists, just not their gods.)

Why Jesus? Look throughout the major world religions and you'll find that Buddha, Muhammad, Confucius and Moses all identified themselves as teachers or prophets. None of them ever claimed to be equal to God. Surprisingly, Jesus did. That is what sets Jesus apart from all the others. He said God exists and you're looking at him. Though he talked about his Father in heaven, it was not from the position of separation, but of very close union, unique to all humankind. Jesus said that anyone who had seen Him had seen the Father, anyone who believed in him, believed in the Father.

Well, why only look at the major religions? More bandwagon fallacy, I suspect. There are quite a few people who have claimed to be both prophets and god, or the son of god: Sathya Sai Baba, Hindu Kamaris, or the sword-wielding maniac from Albuquerque. Here's a whole list of people who have claimed to be Jesus, including such noted thinkers as Jim Jones and Marshall Applewhite. Claiming to be god and actually being god aren't the same at all, and your religion isn't exclusive in this respect at all.

This is a really ham-handed approach at CS Lewis' classic "Lunatic, liar, or lord" idea that since Jesus claimed to be god, either he was crazy, he was lying, or he really was god. (I don't see why option C: Magic is the one that most people believe.) There's also the fourth L of course, Legend.

He said, "I am the light of the world, he who follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life."14 He claimed attributes belonging only to God: to be able to forgive people of their sin, free them from habits of sin, give people a more abundant life and give them eternal life in heaven. Unlike other teachers who focused people on their words, Jesus pointed people to himself. He did not say, "follow my words and you will find truth." He said, "I am the way, the truth, and the life, no one comes to the Father but through me."

So Jesus' egoticism is evidence that he's God? Never mind the fact that Marilyn hasn't yet actually shown that *anyone* is god, this is just stupid logic. A claim is not the thing. The Church of Scientology claims they have 8 million members. That doesn't mean they actually do. (They don't.)

What proof did Jesus give for claiming to be divine? He did what people can't do. Jesus performed miracles. He healed people...blind, crippled, deaf, even raised a couple of people from the dead. He had power over objects...created food out of thin air, enough to feed crowds of several thousand people. He performed miracles over nature...walked on top of a lake, commanding a raging storm to stop for some friends. People everywhere followed Jesus, because he constantly met their needs, doing the miraculous. He said if you do not want to believe what I'm telling you, you should at least believe in me based on the miracles you're seeing.

There are claims of psychic healing. Edward Crawford says he does telepathy. Criss Angel walked on water. We know that people can be deceived through illusion into believing something miraculous has occurred. (James Randi and Derren Brown are my favorites.)

Jesus Christ showed God to be gentle, loving, aware of our self-centeredness and shortcomings, yet deeply wanting a relationship with us. Jesus revealed that although God views us as sinners, worthy of his punishment, his love for us ruled and God came up with a different plan.

Because his first plan sucked, right? Go ahead, admit it. You're not a huge fan of the Old Testament, are you Marilyn? Because in the OT, God isn't gentle. He's wrathful and jealous and petty.

God himself took on the form of man and accepted the punishment for our sin on our behalf. Sounds ludicrous? Perhaps, but many loving fathers would gladly trade places with their child in a cancer ward if they could. The Bible says that the reason we would love God is because he first loved us.

That "first loved me" thing sounds great, till you think of stalkers. (I've had a stalker. It's just not fun or flattering at all.) And sure, lots of parents (moms too, ya know) would gladly take on the suffering of their children, and most of us parents try to protect our children from the worst harms. But God's not that kind of parent, is He? He created hell, according to Christian theology** What kind of parents devise a torture chamber to send their children to? Bad parents (often religious).

Jesus died in our place so we could be forgiven. Of all the religions known to humanity, only through Jesus will you see God reaching toward humanity, providing a way for us to have a relationship with him. Jesus proves a divine heart of love, meeting our needs, drawing us to himself. Because of Jesus' death and resurrection, he offers us a new life today. We can be forgiven, fully accepted by God and genuinely loved by God. He says, "I have loved you with an everlasting love, therefore I have continued my faithfulness to you." This is God, in action.

Wrong! Muslims believe Allah has reached toward humanity and provided them with a path to relationship and paradise. (There are far more examples, but one is enough to disprove her statement.) Also, let's talk about this everlasting love and what it's really like. If God loved us, he did so while creating hell, casting Adam and Eve out of the Garden, flooding the whole earth, raining down fire and brimstone on those he didn't like (but also loved?), and just generally being a mass-murdering genocidal prick. God in action, eh?

Does God exist? If you want to know, investigate Jesus Christ. We're told that "God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life."

Wait a second, I thought you were supposed to give me real evidence, not just "have faith" nonsense! Marilyn, I'm so disappointed in you. You've done nothing to show that any gods exist, much less yours, and you've done nothing to establish the validity of the Bible's truth claims or of Jesus' words (if he even said them.) "We're told" a lot of things that aren't true, like that there were WMDs in Iraq.

God does not force us to believe in him, though he could. Instead, he has provided sufficient proof of his existence for us to willingly respond to him. The earth's perfect distance from the sun, the unique chemical properties of water, the human brain, DNA, the number of people who attest to knowing God, the gnawing in our hearts and minds to determine if God is there, the willingness for God to be known through Jesus Christ. If you need to know more about Jesus and reasons to believe in him, please see: Beyond Blind Faith.

Well, I guess I'll doing the Beyond Blind Faith article next, because this one is bogus. This isn't "sufficient proof of his existence" it's warped data and begged questions and a blind adherence to the tenants of one particular set of scriptures. I've already explained why the earth is not a "perfect" distance from the sun, although it's a distance that is beneficial for us. The properties of water don't prove the existence of god; the human brain is obviously evolved; DNA is not authored by an intelligent mind; bandwagon fallacies are a crock of poop; I have no such gnawing; and lots of people have forth claiming to be god or a messiah. None of this is even good evidence for the existence of god, much less proof. What disappointing, anticlimactic horse hooey.

If you want to begin a relationship with God now, you can. This is your decision, no coercion here. But if you want to be forgiven by God and come into a relationship with him, you can do so right now by asking him to forgive you and come into your life.

Where's all this forgiveness nonsense coming from? I have nothing to repent of. Humans make mistakes as we learn. We are born this way not because we are fallen from some great height, but because we are evolved from humble origins. Also, by this same logic I could invite the Tooth Fairy and the Invisible Pink Unicorn into my life.

Jesus said, "Behold, I stand at the door [of your heart] and knock. He who hears my voice and opens the door, I will come into him [or her]." If you want to do this, but aren't sure how to put it into words, this may help: "Jesus, thank you for dying for my sins. You know my life and that I need to be forgiven. I ask you to forgive me right now and come into my life. I want to know you in a real way. Come into my life now. Thank you that you wanted a relationship with me. Amen."

If there is a real god, I'd really love to know it in a real way, not this suggestive illogical nonsense. Also, I would never worship the Christian god because I find the character morally detestable. (Bible god is evil.)

God views your relationship with him as permanent. Referring to all those who believe in him, Jesus Christ said of us, "I know them, and they follow me; and I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish, and no one shall snatch them out of my hand."

Wow, now we've jumped from not even having established that a god exists, to presuming we know his views! Marilyn, this is not a properly constructed syllogism. Start over and do it again, only this time use logic and don't make things up like "no other religion has relationship". You never built a proper foundation, so your conclusions are resting on nothing. (Also, does this mean I'm still going to heaven even though I blaspheme the Holy Spirit?)

So, does God exist? Looking at all these facts, one can conclude that a loving God does exist and can be known in an intimate, personal way. If you need more information about Jesus' claim to divinity, or about God's existence, or if you have similar important questions, please email us.

Well, obviously one can conclude a loving god exists (wow, now we've jumped from "a god" to naming his character), but there's no good reason to. I guess I'll have to email a link to this post and my questions to EveryStudent and Marilyn and see what they have to say.

* LOL "k-nig-its" cracks me up every time.

** Or allowed hell to be created and did nothing to stop it, so he's still culpable.

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Is There a God?

Today I'm taking on EveryStudent.com again (the last one was "Why Pick the God of the Bible?") Today we have "Does God Exist? Six straight-forward reasons to believe that God is really there" written by Marilyn Adamson.

Just once wouldn't you love for someone to simply show you the evidence for God's existence? No arm-twisting. No statements of, "You just have to believe." Well, here is an attempt to candidly offer some of the reasons which suggest that God exists.

Honestly, I don't know of a single atheist who wouldn't love to see the evidence, if it really existed. I can hardly think of a more important question than whether or not a deity is out there (though of course, if it did exist, then numerous questions about its nature and character would follow.) And Marilyn, did you think I wouldn't notice that you immediately substituted "evidence" with "reasons which suggest"? I recognize word shystery when I see it.

But first consider this. If a person opposes even the possibility of there being a God, then any evidence can be rationalized or explained away. It is like if someone refuses to believe that people have walked on the moon, then no amount of information is going to change their thinking. Photographs of astronauts walking on the moon, interviews with the astronauts, moon rocks...all the evidence would be worthless, because the person has already concluded that people cannot go to the moon.

I'll concede that point. Of course, I do allow for the possibility of a god or gods existing, in equal measure to allowing for the possibility of fairies, unicorns, centaurs, and pod people. As soon as there is good evidence, evidence up to the scale and depth of the evidence for the moon landing at a bare minimum, I'll no longer be a nonbeliever. So, don't worry that I'm prejudging the data. I looked at the data, then drew my conclusion.

When it comes to the possibility of God's existence, the Bible says that there are people who have seen sufficient evidence, but they have suppressed the truth about God.1 On the other hand, for those who want to know God if he is there, he says, "You will seek me and find me; when you seek me with all your heart, I will be found by you."2 Before you look at the facts surrounding God's existence, ask yourself, If God does exist, would I want to know him? Here then, are some reasons to consider...

The Bible is a ridiculous book. You cannot start a conversation with a nonbeliever with the Bible as your support: the nonbeliever does not accept the truth claims of the Bible. That's why they're not a Christian. I know of several loud and outspoken atheists, Matt Dilahunty of Atheist Experience, Pat Condell of YouTube infamy (he rocks), and myself who all searched far and wide and desperately for God to reveal himself. He didn't (probably because there was no "He" there to begin with.) As for whether or not I would want to know a god, I certainly want to know if one (or several) exists. Knowledge of a god's existence would not, however, necessarily lead to worship. For example, the Christian God is a prick.

1. Does God exist? The complexity of our planet points to a deliberate Designer who not only created our universe, but sustains it today.

Oh, no. We're going the faux science route, aren't we? Tsk, Marilyn, this is disappointing. Because of course, if all this scientific data really did point to a god, you would think that the vast majority of biologists, physicists, and other scientists would be believers. They're not. The complexity of our planet points to the complexity of our planet; it doesn't suggest a god. In fact, the (in)famous "blind watchmaker" ID/creationist analogy has been nicely debunked here by the eminent and very cool cdk007. (If you're not already a subscriber, do yourself a favor and become one now. I promise, you won't regret it.)



Alright, let's go ahead and see what Marilyn has to say on the subject of complexity.

Many examples showing God's design could be given (*cough* invented *cough), possibly with no end. But here are a few: The Earth...its size is perfect. The Earth's size and corresponding gravity holds a thin layer of mostly nitrogen and oxygen gases, only extending about 50 miles above the Earth's surface. If Earth were smaller, an atmosphere would be impossible, like the planet Mercury. If Earth were larger, its atmosphere would contain free hydrogen, like Jupiter.3 Earth is the only known planet equipped with an atmosphere of the right mixture of gases to sustain plant, animal and human life.

Gee, the life that formed (and survived) on this planet is well suited to the environment. Wow, who'd have thought? Oh wait, everybody, that's who.

The Earth is located the right distance from the sun. Consider the temperature swings we encounter, roughly -30 degrees to +120 degrees. If the Earth were any further away from the sun, we would all freeze. Any closer and we would burn up. Even a fractional variance in the Earth's position to the sun would make life on Earth impossible. The Earth remains this perfect distance from the sun while it rotates around the sun at a speed of nearly 67,000 mph. It is also rotating on its axis, allowing the entire surface of the Earth to be properly warmed and cooled every day.

All of this "our planet works out well for us" stuff is supposed to indicate that the earth was clearly designed for us. The way the evidence is presented begs the question. The Earth isn't the "right" distance from the sun; it's the distance it happens to be. Calling it "right" suggests purpose or intention. Likewise saying the earth is "properly warmed and cooled" is begging the question, planting in the sentence the idea that there is a "proper" way for the Earth to behave.

And our moon is the perfect size and distance from the Earth for its gravitational pull. The moon creates important ocean tides and movement so ocean waters do not stagnate, and yet our massive oceans are restrained from spilling over across the continents.

Again, the moon isn't the "perfect size and distance"; it happens to be this way. If it were some other way, this planet would be different. So what? If you don't believe that the sun, Earth, and moon were created for mankind, it really doesn't make a difference. I mean, I like the moon. I'm glad our planet does sustain life and I'm glad to be alive, but I don't imagine that the entire cosmos is here for my benefit or so that my life might exist in a barren sky. I'm not that egotistical.

Water...colorless, odorless and without taste, and yet no living thing can survive without it. Plants, animals and human beings consist mostly of water (about two-thirds of the human body is water)... It has an unusually high boiling point and freezing point. Water allows us to live in an environment of fluctuating temperature changes, while keeping our bodies a steady 98.6 degrees. Water is a universal solvent. This property of water means that thousands of chemicals, minerals and nutrients can be carried throughout our bodies and into the smallest blood vessels. Water is also chemically neutral. Without affecting the makeup of the substances it carries, water enables food, medicines and minerals to be absorbed and used by the body. Water has a unique surface tension. Water in plants can therefore flow upward against gravity, bringing life-giving water and nutrients to the top of even the tallest trees. Water freezes from the top down and floats, so fish can live in the winter.

*facepalm* Sigh, water freezes from the top down and floats. Fish can live in the winter. Two correct statements. The problem lies in the "so". There is absolutely no reason based on evidence to suppose that water freezes the way it does for the express purpose of letting fish live through winter. Our planet is extremely hostile! Most of it does not support life without technology, and the vast reaches of space don't support either. What kind of measly god can only create sentient life on one planet, out of all the planets we're aware of, and only one a fraction of that planet?*

Ninety-seven percent of the Earth's water is in the oceans. But on our Earth, there is a system designed which removes salt from the water and then distributes that water throughout the globe. Evaporation takes the ocean waters, leaving the salt, and forms clouds which are easily moved by the wind to disperse water over the land, for vegetation, animals and people. It is a system of purification and supply that sustains life on this planet, a system of recycled and reused water.

The hydrological cycle is cool. I think probably everyone of us enjoyed that graphic in our science textbooks, whether we thought a god was behind it or not. It's just a cool process, and one that's fairly easy to illustrate and understand. However, it doesn't point to an intentional design for human life. After all, only 30% of the planet is dry land; the rest is under water. Why would God give us such a tiny fraction of a planet, if all this is for us?

The human brain...simultaneously processes an amazing amount of information. Your brain takes in all the colors and objects you see, the temperature around you, the pressure of your feet against the floor, the sounds around you, the dryness of your mouth, even the texture of your keyboard. Your brain holds and processes all your emotions, thoughts and memories. At the same time your brain keeps track of the ongoing functions of your body like your breathing pattern, eyelid movement, hunger and movement of the muscles in your hands.

I love neurology. Seeing pictures of brain scans of other people with OCD really helped me to recognize that so much of what I thought was the "soul" really resides in our brains. For me, it was incredibly healing information: I have a sick brain, and treating it will improve my life, my decision making skills, my impulse control, and my ability to relate constructively with other members of my species. The activity in my brain will change. The insides of our skulls are sharp, and any concussion or serious blow to the head can result in a permanent loss of personality, intelligence and capability, or motor functions. The very fact that brains are so easily damaged suggests to me that we aren't designed by some all-knowing all-perfect god. Surely such a god could create brains with better protection.

The human brain processes more than a million messages a second. Your brain weighs the importance of all this data, filtering out the relatively unimportant. This screening function is what allows you to focus and operate effectively in your world. The brain functions differently than other organs. There is an intelligence to it, the ability to reason, to produce feelings, to dream and plan, to take action, and relate to other people.

I worked for awhile as a typist in a psychiatrist's office. He tested and met with people of the lowest precentiles of intelligence, and with the highest incidents of comorbid mental illnesses. None of them were focusing and operating effectively in their worlds, which is why they came to see him. He determined how severely they were disabled, and his recommendation would determine whether or not they got government assistance, because their inability to function was so great. The brain is very cool when working well, but it is just not true that all brains (or even most) are healthy and working well.

The eye...can distinguish among seven million colors. It has automatic focusing and handles an astounding 1.5 million messages -- simultaneously.8 Evolution focuses on mutations and changes from and within existing organisms. Yet evolution alone does not fully explain the initial source of the eye or the brain -- the start of living organisms from nonliving matter.

The eye is really poorly made, if it's designed. It's backwards and upside down. And evolution is not supposed to answer the question of where the first life came from. There are a couple possibilities being considered by learned men and women of science right now. One of these is abiogenesis, which seems very cool to me.

Part 2 is for tomorrow, kiddies. But don't worry, I'll write another post today. It's great to be back in town and back at my (boyfriend's) laptop :)

*I'm not saying there's no alien life, just saying we haven't found it yet. I'm way too ignorant on this stuff to have formed an opinion yet. Except on Area 51, there I have formed an opinion.

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Swearing: The Potty Mouth Sin

Today we'll be talking about swear words and blasphemy, goddammit. I was trying to find a good picture of God cursing women for the last post, but instead stumbled onto TurnBacktoGod.com and their article, "Swearing and Cursing are signs of evil in one's heart." Hot damn! Let's get started.

CURSE WORDS REVEAL THE CONDITION OF A MAN’S HEART

In what way? Is a man who drops a lot of f-bombs hornier than another? Does the "bs" shouter actually smell of cow patties, or does her heart actually pump "bs"? Do curse words reveal the condition of a woman's heart or only a man's?

Jesus taught in the Bible that when a man curses or uses profanity it is a sign of evil that was in that man’s heart. It is popular today for both men and women to curse. They never think of it as an evil condition in their heart, but rather a small thing that everyone does. These small words of cursing the Bible says, will defile the whole man if they are not repented of and stopped. Cussing and using the name of the Lord in vain causes one to become defiled.

It is popular today for both men and women to believe things without evidence, like that the words of Jesus or the Bible have any bearing on our lives. Oh, I'm sorry, were you attempting to paint this as a godless secular society? Pfft. (I love that noise.) The idea that a word could defile you is silly, and very much like the magical thinking I grew up under. It may have been daily that my Giggy reminded me, "Life and death are in the power of the tongue." Of course, now I know that my grandmother is and was batshit crazy, so her opinions matter a lot less than they used to. Defiled is just another way of saying dirty. At its core, Christianity is legalistic and hurtful to its members. I can't understand how people get so deluded that we think the thing that is torturing us is making us happy.

Popular movies and T.V. are responsible for causing society to accept foul language as the “norm.” They portray cursing as a way to vent anger and tell people off. The very attitudes behind cursing show that it is not right as cussing is used to demean and put down people. These words can be mild expletives to horrible blasphemies. Since the devil is the one who inspires these evil utterances he causes people to use our Lord’s name in the most ungodly ways.

Even if you could tie correlation between increased profanity on TV and movies with increased profanity in the general public, there is no evidence (data, reason to believe it's true) that it's a causal relationship. Maybe society accepted foul language first, and then let the FCC relax the standards. Well, swearing does help you vent, and reduces physical pain. And "The devil made me do it!" always makes me wonder why God lets the Devil have so much sway.

In the modern definition of cursing, usually people use the name of Jesus or God in vain and swear with curses such as “go to hell” or “damn you.” These words clearly show it is an evil coming from the devil.

If you're going to refer to a definition, it's best to actually define the thing (or at least link to it). And while statements like "go to hell" are certainly rude (ahem, *cough, CHRISTIANS, cough*) it's not like they actually have any power. Christian readers, please jump in and correct me if I'm wrong here, but I don't think you actually believe that you, as a born-again/washed in the blood/confirmed Christian will "go to hell" simply because I said so. So the words aren't anything more than words, even if they are rude. They have no magic to actually "curse" anyone. Also? The author obviously does not understand what "clearly show" means.

Have you ever wondered why people do not not use the names of gods of other religions when they curse? The names that the devil hates and uses people to voice hateful curses are “God,” “Christ,” “Jesus Christ” and “Jesus.” Terms about hell and heaven are also used in derogatory ways. The very misuse of these words should prove the existence of God and the reality of a heaven and hell.

Um, Christocentric much? People DO use other gods' names in curses, just not that much in English in America, where you know, the Christian one is the one we're constantly being told is damning some percentage of us to "go to hell" forever. (Why is it NOT rude or evil when your god tells us to "go to hell" or "damn you"?)

"The very misuse of these words should prove the existence of God and the reality of heaven and hell."

Okay, I'm not sure exactly how many of these terms the author doesn't comprehend, but it's at least a couple of these: prove (establish the truth or validity of by presentation of argument or evidence), existence (the state of existing; being), and reality (the quality or state of being actual or true).

Even Christians have been tricked into using bad expressions when they are upset. They are take-offs of the Lord’s names such as: “Geeze” or “Jes” (short for Jesus), “Good Gosh,” “Gosh Darn,” “Lordy.” This is known as “shoot cussin”. There are other terms used, which we will not repeat, as they are vulgar profanities. However, these illustrations make the point.

Ah, notice that Christians are "tricked" - the Devil made them do it. And you're gonna have to deal with the old ladies in the south if you think "Lordy" is a curseword - they might tear a fair size knot in your butt for trying. (Can I record it for YouTube when you do?) And in all my years of crazy legalistic fringe Christianity, I never herd the phrase "shoot cussin". If "Lordy" makes the point of vulgar profanities, you are missing the point of swearing. It adds invective when other words won't suffice or when you're so pissed your brain gets locked and all you can eject are curses and insults about penis size. (Just me?)

Many good movies have been ruined for Christians because the script writers thought adding profane language (which they refer to as adult language) somehow made the movie more relalistic. Adults nor children should use bad language if we are to be like our Lord. We do not have to use curse words to emphasize our intentions.

Good movies aren't made for Christians - they're made for the box office. You might be whiny persecuted majority, but you have not won in Hollywood (because you're jerks.) And you're ignoring the fact that scriptwriters and a lot of other Americans don't want to be like your Lord (because he's a slave-condoning, misogynistic, homophobic, genocidal, mass-murdering fuckhead.)

BIBLE QUOTES ON SWEARING AND CURSING

Colosians 3:8 But now ye also put off all these; anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy communication out of your mouth. 9 Lie not one to another, seeing that ye have put off the old man with his deeds;
10 And have put on the new man, which is renewed in knowledge after the image of him that created him.”

Okay, since Yahweh was angry, wrathful, malicious, blasphemous, and filthy - why does he get such a free pass? (Go back to the Old Testament for some of the "horrible blasphemies" he used about other gods.) And any former-believing atheist will tell you, the Christians don't have special knowledge - they have special ignorance and confirmation bias.

Matthew 5:37: “But let your communication be, Yea, yea; Nay, nay: for whatsoever is more than these cometh of evil.”

Gee, I can see how practical monosyllabic conversations would be. But is this verse really saying that speaking more than that is evil? What about Jesus' Sermon on the Mount, or every preachers' oratory?

If swearing and cursing have been a problem in your life ask the Lord to forgive you and deliver you so that your words may be good and loving words full of grace and truth. He will help you overcome this problem through His power.

Look, unless you have Tourette's, or some other genuine problem controlling your speech, you don't need a god to quit dropping F-bombs. I used to use the word "fucktard" a lot, but it started to bug me how offensive it was, so I decided not to say it anymore. ("Batshit crazy" is often way more accurate anyway, and just as fun.)

Matthew 12:34-36: “O generation of vipers, how can ye, being evil, speak good things? for out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh. 35 A good man out of the good treasure of the heart bringeth forth good things: and an evil man out of the evil treasure bringeth forth evil things. 36 But I say unto you, That every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment.”

Oooh! He's making a list, checking it twice, gonna find out who's naughty or nice - what, wait? Oh I'm sorry this was Jesus, not Santa. My mistake. Jesus is the one who sees you when you're sleeping; he knows when you're awake; he knows when you've been bad or good so live in terror for goodness' sake. Oh! (Seriously, I need to get a webcam so I can make LOL Jesus music videos.)

Psalm 19:14: “Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O LORD, my strength, and my redeemer.”

I don't give a flying squirrel what your Lord finds acceptable - because he's a jerk. (Look, it's only an ad hominem if I insult him *instead* of making a good case; it's totally legit to make my case and then call him names after. Maybe not mature, but legit.)

Matthew 15:11: “Not that which goeth into the mouth defileth a man; but that which cometh out of the mouth, this defileth a man.”

WRONG! The words we listen to, accept as true, and believe can absolutely "defile" us. Look at the 9/11 hijackers. They didn't come up with that plan each individually - words went into them. Words about Allah, and infidels, and paradise, just like Christian words about Jesus, and sinners, and heaven. What we take in can improve us or harm us. People who read my grandmother's book took in evil concepts and evil ideas. Also, this verse seems like it contradicts the next one. Does the defilement start in the heart and lead to the words, or does the uttering of the words cause the defilement? The Bible is so badly written! It's kind of obviously not divine, don't you think?

Matthew 15:17-20: “Do not ye yet understand, that whatsoever entereth in at the mouth goeth into the belly, and is cast out into the draught?
18 But those things which proceed out of the mouth come forth from the heart; and they defile the man.
19 For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies:
20 These are the things which defile a man: but to eat with unwashen hands defileth not a man.”

My heart pumps blood, not defilement. Frankly, no one's thoughts (evil or otherwise) proceed from their heart. That's not where thinking happens (hint, hint "I feel god" types - this means you!) And I'm sorry but eating without washing your hands is a very, very bad idea. I know I was taught that "cleanliness is next to godliness" yet the Bible clearly states that "to eat with unwashen hands defileth not a man." There's so much bad advice in the Bible that I hadn't caught this one before. (It's always in light of these verses that I remember how credible my grandmother seemed, and how honored she was by so many male pastors. Our beliefs about not locking doors don't seem that extreme next to that insanity.)

The Bible versus the CDC - whoever will I believe? Hmmm, I think I'll go with the experts.



From "Borders of Infinity" by Lois McMaster Bujold:

And where the devil does not exist, Miles thought to himself, it may become expedient to invent him.

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Invisible Forces

"God is like electricity or the wind - you can't see Him but you can see the effects He has." This was one of the first apologetics I heard and was persuaded by, as a very young girl. So even though it will be relatively simple to debunk, it's got some personal meaning, so I sally forth. (How did Sally become both a girl's name and a military verb?)


Anyone who's spent a day at a science museum has gotten to play with a Tesla coil and knows that you can see electrical arcs. (Learn more at the Tesla Society page! Very cool geekdom.) Also? Lightning. Not only can we see electricity, we can also feel it (ouch! Anyone who's ever lived in a Florida trailer knows what it feels like to get electrocuted - cheap wires in cardboard walls.) We ca manipulate and harness electricity, and we can make reliable predictions about how it will behave. The entire wiring system of your home was set up with these reliable predictions in mind. Electricity consistently behaves like electricity.


And the wind, while it is not in itself visible, is knowable - and measurable. Whether it's reported in knots, miles or kilometers per hour, we can measure the wind as it is happening and whether or not it is windy at any given location and time is not as questionable as the existence of an all-powerful creator. Not only can we measure wind as it is happening, meteorologists, oceanographers, and other people who study this stuff can use what we know about wind to make predictions.



That weekly forecast isn't a prophecy from holy scripture or divine revelation - it's science (testable, knowable, falsifiable, and verifiable - beautiful stuff.) As someone who lives in Florida, where hurricane season is from June 1 to November 30 (probably already in the clear this season) and especially as a former Florida mobile home owner*, I appreciate the knowledge-based educated predictions that NOAA makes on my behalf.

God isn't nearly so helpful. We haven't yet found a way to measure God that he shows up on. He doesn't do cool Tesla purple arcs of electricity (they are sooooo pretty)** and we have entirely non-supernatural explanations for lightning. We know why wind happens the way it does, and anyone who's driven through a city after even a Category 1 Hurricane has hit knows that wind leaves obvious physical effects and aftermath. With god supposedly touching so many people, it seems strange that believers (of every stripe) can only offer "feelings" as their proof of god.

The main difference is this: Although the wind and god are both invisible (electricity just freaking isn't - my 3rd grade Christian school teacher lied), the wind has been proven to exist and god hasn't. So they are not just the same. Wind is real and god is imaginary.***



* Yes, we know that mobile homes and six months of hurricane system are a bad combination. But where else can you pay $140/month rent? I really miss that rent, but not so much the crappy locks, holes in the walls, and subsequent roaches. Still - $140 a month is nothing to sneeze at. Besides, where I live has only been hit by one cat 1 hurricane and a half a dozen severe tropical storms in the two decades I've lived here.

** I have loved lightning since I can remember. Thunder storms are passionate and cool. See the video below to understand the force of nature that makes me excited to be alive.

*** Does anybody know what the hell happened to GodIsImaginary.com? The page is down all of a sudden and I don't know why! Have they moved???

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God is Love? pt. 2

This is the second part, and you really should read the first. I'm deconstructing an argument from its first premise, so go read that post, and I'll wait for you.

*whistles*

Okay, let's get started.

God is Love: How Should we Define Love?
When the Scriptures say, "God is love," they aren't telling us that God is some nebulous, warm fuzzy feeling of love. The writers who penned the scriptures weren't saying that in our limited form of human love we will find God. Not at all -- in fact, when we read that God is love in the Bible, this means that God defines love. And when we say that God defines love, we don't mean that He defines it like Webster might define something -- we mean that God is the very definition of love itself. There is no such thing as love without God. As hard as we might try, we cannot define love outside of knowing God. This essentially means that our human definition of love is false.

I knew it, I knew it! I told you this author didn't actually accept the definition of love from the dictionary. And, oddly enough, I feel the need to define the word "define" for this author. So, from Dictionary.com

1. to state or set forth the meaning of (a word, phrase, etc.)
2. to explain or identify the nature or essential qualities of
3. to fix or lay down definitely; specify distinctly
   

Our author has failed to do all three of these things, regarding love. The definition "intense affection based on familial or personal ties" has been misconstrued repeatedly - as physical or sexual attraction, as a choice to be committed to your word, as being based on feelings and emotions (rather than familial or personal ties), as being self-serving in nature, and as being a "nebulous, warm fuzzy feeling." Yet s/he has not stated or set forth an alternate meaning (s/he acted as though this straw man was the dictionary definition); has yet to explain or identify the nature or essential qualities of love; and has failed to fix or lay down definitely, or to specify distinctly (or even vaguely) what love is. To then say "God defines love" tells us what love is (or God is) no better than the statement "God defines pancakes" because "love" has now been stripped of all meaning. (I've gotta quit blogging before breakfast.)

Like a creationist with no evidence for creation, the author has spent the whole article thus far attacking a straw man of the other side, rather than giving justification and reason to suppose his/her thoughts actually represent anything true. And to all my readers, especially those who've escaped cults, I love you - without knowing any gods. I love my son demonstrably more than the God of the Bible loved his - I will never torture my son to death or allow others to torture him to death (or at all). Certainly that torture and death wouldn't make me love THEM any more. Homicidal rage is closer to the feeling I imagine I'd have.

Since this entire argument was based on faulty premises and word shystery, the conclusion that "our human definition of love is false" is nothing more than an unsupported claim, and a rather stupid one at that. Moving on.

God is the Creator of all things, and by His very nature, He is love. God says love is unconditional and sacrificial, and it's not based on feelings; therefore, love is not an "intense affection… based on familial or personal ties". To understand what true love is and to be able to truly love others, we must know God, and we can do this through a close personal relationship with Him. We can have that close relationship with God by putting our faith in Jesus Christ, who was God's sacrifice of love for us.

First of all, let's nip this idea that God's love is unconditional in the bud. "Love" does not include torture; therefore if the whole theology is true, there are billions of souls God does not love in hell right now. There's also the question of how much of a sacrifice the crucifixion really was. Obviously, it's a horrific and painful way to die - so is AIDS. Jesus was apparently accused, betrayed, tried, convicted, and executed all on the same day. It was undoubtedly a bad day, and after it followed three days in hell, but then his pain was over and he got to be God forever. There are no prison sentences or parole boards in hell for the rest of us - it's eternity for everyone, regardless of infraction.

Also, extreme (and clumsy) word shystery. "It is not based on feelings, therefore it is not based on familial or personal ties." Huh? "It is not A, therefore it is not B?" Despite the author's intentions, I haven't bought the idea that feelings and ties are the same; A does not equal B. (What's the name of this logical fallacy? I'd really to know which one it is. It's like s/he's starting halfway through a syllogism.)

God is Love: True Love Only Comes Through a Relationship With Him
God is Love! As such, true love -- God's love -- can be summed up in this passage of scripture: "Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God; and every one that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God. He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love. In this was manifested the love of God toward us, because that God sent his only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through him. Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us, and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we ought also to love one another." (1 John 4:7-11)

I don't know how many of you have had either a cult leader or a creepy stalkerish ex, but if you haven't just try to imagine. The only thing we've been told about God's love - repeatedly now - is that he loved us enough to kill someone for us, and has even already done it! Imagine you're on a first date. Over the appetizers, your date tells you, "I love you so much that I already killed my son for you." Do you:

a) Enter into a relationship with this person?
b) Commit your entire life to doing as this person pleases, in a groveling self-loathing attempt to curry favor?
c) Order your entree while you think things over?
d) Run like there's a pack of wild dogs chasing you?

(The correct answer is "D". All others lead to cults.) Obviously this idea that people who don't know god (atheists for sure, and possibly theists of other faiths) don't love is just not true. Love is a human thing, not something divine.

If you want to know this love - true love -- get to know God. He is ready to pour out His love on you, and He wants to teach you how to love others as He loves you.

What, murderously and cruelly? I don't want to love people the way god supposedly loves us; I don't want other people to love me that way either. Love is two people coming together in affectio nand care for one another. When one person has the power of another's life in their very hands - and threatens that life continuously and with great variety - "love" is not present. Holding a gun to someone's head and saying, "Love me or I'll blow your brains out" is not love. Neither is "Believe this story even though every thing logical tells you not to or you'll suffer eternal torment in a lake of fire".

The author and I agree on one thing: God does not fit the definition of love. I'm just the only one to admit that means that he isn't love.

Also, "pour out his love on you" just sounds gross.

The very real core reason I don't believe in God anymore is because I realized I could find nothing to distinguish Jesus from a cult leader. It was a heart-breaking realization, because I hated cults and I loved Jesus, but it's better to know the truth. Ignorance is not bliss - Ignorance is captivity.

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